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Andrew Klavan, After That, the Dark

Andrew Klavan’s Newest Mystery Hits The Shelves. Read The Prologue And First Chapter.

Books

Some people are saying that President Trump’s magnificent handling of the Iranian-Hamas terror war against Israel has revealed him to be a political colossus whose opponents on both the left and right are nothing more than small, petty, fleshly instantiations of total irrelevance, with opinions that are meaningless and small and evanescent in their influence and small and also small. Other people are saying other things. Like, “What’s for dinner, Mommy?” or “Read me a story, Daddy,” or “I’m George Stephanopoulos and this is ABC News.”
But even as Trump celebrates getting terrorist hostages released and securing the American border and readjusting the international order so that China, Russia, and a seething hellpit of demonic Jew haters of all stripes don’t take over the world, those who oppose him are vowing to bring him down by unleashing the full force of the tremendous cultural power they used to have until we caught on to them.
So for instance, while Trump is being hailed by leaders around the globe as the Grand Marshal of the parade of history, powerful magazine editors from one end of Manhattan to the same end of Manhattan are vowing that his glamorous First Lady Melania will never, ever appear on the cover of one of their crappy, irrelevant magazines.
The editor of American Vogue magazine, Chloe Irrelevant, announced this shattering act of cultural vengeance in a barn-burning speech at the annual meeting of the Society of Crappy and Irrelevant Magazine Editors, saying, “Trump may have his moment, but as God is my witness, we will show our resistance to him by sinking to levels of pettiness and meanness that the world has not seen since our last issue.”
Miss Irrelevant’s speech seemed to be greeted by thunderous applause until she realized she had wandered into a ladies room, and the people she thought were her audience were just her own reflections in the mirrors over the sinks.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Likewise, in the smoking ruins of what would still be Los Angeles if they had taken Trump’s advice on water usage, both members of the Jimmy Kimmel fan club swore to ignore the Israeli peace deal and to pay tribute instead to Kimmel’s inspiring work of ensuring that every TV comedian has the exact same political opinions as every other TV comedian. To honor Kimmel’s protection of the corporate political conformity enshrined in our Bill of Rights, the Kimmel fans pledged they would actually watch Kimmel’s show one of these days if it didn’t interfere with their nightly gummy overdose.
At the New York Times, a former newspaper, Editor-in-Chief Blithering Prevarication the Third declared that he would not let Trump’s victory over terrorism stop the Times’s relentless juggernaut of misleading headlines, which was sure to bring the president down just as soon as Times subscribers stopped playing Wordle and momentarily glanced at the misleading headlines.
In a speech to the Association of Once-Important News Outlets, which had gathered in a ladies room to hear a speech from the editor of American Vogue, Mr. Third said, “Trump may be powerful now because he has all these accomplishments and what-not, but his authoritarian regime will never survive such fiery tirades as the article we headlined, Pete Buttigieg on Rebuilding America After Trump. This, at last, presents the revolutionary vision of the Transportation Secretary who made history by bringing gay people to the very pinnacle of complete incompetence.”
And so while Donald Trump may enjoy this flash-in-the-pan moment of nine or ten months of unprecedented political achievement, the powerful masters of what used to be our culture until the scales fell from our eyes have not given up their resistance. In the words of influential Harvard Professor Alan Flapdoodle, “We convicted Trump of non-existent felonies, we impeached him for non-existent offenses, we accused him of non-existent treasons, and I know in my heart that, if we can compare him to Hitler just a few more times, he will be brought down once and for all. Our voices are not irrelevant. Our lives are not meaningless. Our dreams will never die. Now if you’ll just put a dollar in my hat, I’ll be happy to play &#8220;Blowin’ in the Wind&#8221; on my harmonica. After all, a man’s gotta eat.”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for PRE-ORDER. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

TOPSHOT-US-POLITICS

While Trump Celebrates World Peace, Democrats Deliver More Irrelevant Speeches

Donald Trump

Humor

Israeli hostages

Legacy Media

Middle East

Satire

Trump peace plan

Daily Wire hosts discussed Generation Z’s apparent rejection of radical gender theories during the premiere of &#8220;Friendly Fire&#8221; on DailyWire+ Thursday night, debating whether the young generation is headed in a positive direction.
Daily Wire host Michael Knowles kicked off the segment on transgenderism by citing a recent study from the University of Buckingham on &#8220;The Decline of Trans and Queer Identity among Young Americans.&#8221; The study showed that in the past two years, there has been a steady decline among undergrad students who identify as &#8220;nonbinary.&#8221;
Knowles kicked it over to the newest Daily Wire host, Isabel Brown, asking, &#8220;Isabel, I need to know: is your generation not gay anymore?&#8221;
Twenty-eight-year-old Brown, who wrote the book, &#8220;The End of the Alphabet: How Gen Z Can Save America,&#8221; replied, saying, “I have been trying to warn the world that Gen Z, the kids, were alright for a very long time. Literally a year and a half ago, I was laughed off set at every TV station, every radio station, every podcast when I presented my book that Gen Z was going to save America — that no one wanted to be a lame gay chick that Disney wanted us to be.&#8221;
&#8220;None of the information out of this new study shocks me,&#8221; she added. &#8220;The idea of the cultural fad of the transgender cult … has already been disillusioned thanks to people boldly speaking the truth.&#8221;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
.<a href="https://twitter.com/michaeljknowles?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@michaeljknowles</a>: “Isabel, I need to know, is your generation not gay anymore?”<a href="https://twitter.com/theisabelb?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@theisabelb</a>: “I have been trying to warn the world that Gen Z , the kids, were alright for a very long time…The idea of the cultural fad of the transgender cult…has already been disillusioned.” <a href="https://t.co/kXrLovagw4">pic.twitter.com/kXrLovagw4</a>
— Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) <a href="https://twitter.com/realDailyWire/status/1978978239725899866?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 17, 2025</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh, whose documentary &#8220;<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/videos/what-is-a-woman">What is a Woman?</a>&#8221; helped spark the nationwide pushback on radical gender theory, warned people not to put too much stock in the University of Buckingham, adding that radical gender identities are still more popular among Gen Z than any other generation. Walsh, however, said that he does believe studies and anecdotal observations show &#8220;the trans and &#8216;nonbinary&#8217; thing is declining, it&#8217;s losing steam.&#8221;
&#8220;And that was inevitable and the reason why is because no one ever really believed it to begin with,&#8221; Walsh added.
Join us now during our exclusive Deal of the Decade. Get everything for $7 a month. Not as fans. As fighters. Go to <a href="https://get.dailywire.com/subscribe/plus/">DailyWire.com/Subscribe</a> to join now.
He argued that the culture has shifted in recent years, and people are no longer afraid to speak out about the insanity of the transgender identity.
&#8220;I&#8217;m not surprised that we&#8217;re seeing this trend. I don&#8217;t know that we&#8217;re going to see it extend over to homosexuality, but I do think that with trans and &#8216;nonbinary&#8217; that it&#8217;s on its way out,&#8221; Walsh said.
Daily Wire host Andrew Klavan said that he agrees with Brown that Gen Z &#8220;will actually save the world.&#8221;
&#8220;They are not the way the two generations between the Boomers and them are,&#8221; Klavan said. &#8220;They aren&#8217;t hostile, women dress like women, the men look perfectly comfortable being men, they don&#8217;t radiate the same kind of hostility that I get from the people who are around like 50. Somehow feminism seems to have lost its grip on them, and they seem just much more comfortable in their skins, so I&#8217;m hopeful.&#8221;
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro chimed in, saying that transgenderism became the &#8220;ultimate victimhood status,&#8221; but now that victimhood status is going out of vogue.
&#8220;The victimhood status went away because of things like what Matt did and what we did, obviously, here at The Daily Wire over the course of the last ten years, and sanity reasserted itself,&#8221; Shapiro said. &#8220;And you&#8217;re no longer considered an inherent victim because you&#8217;re a man who claims to be a woman, or the opposite. In fact, in some cases, you may in fact be an aggressor as we have seen from time to time.&#8221;
Shapiro, however, was not optimistic about the future of Gen Z and warned that many young Americans would move on from radical gender theory and adopt full-blown Marxism, finding their identity in their perceived economic disadvantages. After finding victimhood status in race and sex, Gen Z will move to financial situation, Shapiro argued.
&#8220;I&#8217;m optimistic that people are going to move away from crazier, &#8216;I&#8217;m sexually identifying as a cat&#8217; routine, but I think they are going to increasingly identify as somehow economically dispossessed and then call for massive government interventionism, which is mostly what the [Zohran] Mamdani moment is about,&#8221; Shapiro continued.
&#8220;And that, by the way, is what you&#8217;re seeing mostly in the polls for young people,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Young people are increasingly hot on socialism and communism, they&#8217;re increasingly hot on massive government interventionism, they don&#8217;t really like capitalism very much, so I think that the next victimhood status is going to go back to classic Marx victimhood status.&#8221;

Friendly Fire

Daily Wire Hosts Unpack The Death Of Radical Gender Theory, Whether There’s Hope For Gen Z

There is growing pressure on Democrat Virginia Attorney General candidate Jay Jones to step down, after Jones’s 2022 texts were uncovered in which he fantasized about shooting political opponent Todd Gilbert in the head, and wished Gilbert’s toddler children would die in their mother’s arms. Jones has apologized for the texts and says he was obviously joking since nothing spells comedy like dead children. 
So far, Democrats are standing behind Jones, because it’s obviously much too dangerous to stand in front of him. The Democrats dismiss calls for Jones to quit the race, saying the pressure for his resignation is being manufactured by right-wing news outlets, partisan Republicans, Republicans in name only, Independents, people who vote Democrat because they haven’t realized yet what’s happened to the party, Europeans, Asians, South American cartel members in their rare moments of moral awareness, primitive indigenous peoples who have no clue what the hell is even happening, chimpanzees in zoos who’ve been taught enough sign language to recognize a dirtbag when they see one, and anyone else with an ounce of common decency. 
Abigail Spanberger, the Democrat’s candidate for Virginia governor, says she continues to back Jones 100% because to back him even 1% less would suggest she was nursing some flickering spark of conscience that might force her to change her party affiliation. In a speech to a group of anti-fascists and other fascists, Miss Spanberger said, “When I think of who should be the chief law officer of Virginia, I think of Jay Jones, a man who was once arrested for driving 116 miles an hour, and when he was sentenced to 500 hours of community service, he served every single hour of that sentence by claiming that working for his own political PAC was community service. So this is a man of integrity, although I really have to look that word up, because I’m not sure it means what I think it means.”
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Tim Kaine is also throwing his support behind Jones. Kaine was himself the governor of Virginia and recently made headlines — and I’m not making this part up — Kaine made headlines when he declared that the idea that human rights come from God was “extremely troubling,” and sounded like the sort of thing people believed in theocratic tyrannies like Iran. When Kaine was told the idea came from yet another Virginia governor, Thomas Jefferson, Kaine said Jefferson should be impeached. When Kaine was told that Jefferson had died centuries ago and was, in fact, one of the founding fathers of the United States of America, Kaine broke down and admitted that he was a complete ignoramus and should not have any say at all in how America was governed and had therefore decided to become a U.S. Senator. 
In a speech to a meeting of anti-racists and other racists, Kaine said, “Jay Jones is a friend of mine and I know his heart. Yet, even so, I continue to support his candidacy for attorney general because the hunger for power has hollowed out my soul and left me with no moral compass whatsoever. And I think I speak for all morally hollow ignoramuses when I stand before you with this atrocious nonsense pouring out of my mouth while even I look on with a kind of fascinated horror at how deeply I degrade myself when I sacrifice every other value to my political ambition.” 
Now some of you may be asking yourself, why would the Democrats, a political party whose members share margaritas with wife-beating gangsters, tell the police not to come to the aid of federal law officers when they’re under mob attack, unleash hate on a conservative leader after his children have been orphaned by an assassin’s bullet, and pour into the street to support a terrorist attack that killed more Jews than any attack since the holocaust — why would the members of such a party stand behind a candidate who dreams of shooting his political opponent in the head and wishes the man’s children would die in their mother’s arms?
And if you are asking yourself that question, you might want to tell the zookeeper to teach you a little more sign language.
 * * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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Rep. Abigail Spanberger (D-VA) campaigns as the Democratic nominee in the Virginia’s governor’s race.

Virginia AG Candidate Gives ‘I Have A Dream’ A Whole New Meaning

Virginia AG Candidate Gives “I Have A Dream” A Whole New Meaning

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America is having a debate about political violence. Is it the fault of conservatives, or is it the fault of the side that wants to kill everyone who disagrees with them? This chin-scratcher of a conundrum has inspired people of good will from all over to come together with Democrats to try to find a solution.
For instance, in a recent discussion at Harvard University, left-wing students calmly and quietly presented their side of the issue, while right-wing students responded by screaming in terror as an angry mob chased them with pitchforks and torches. The come-together event was sponsored by the student group Kill All Fascists, with KAF President Vladimir Mohammed Jihad Alinsky telling the assembled rioters, “We must put an end to fascism by any means necessary. And some of you may ask, well, what do you mean when you say by any means necessary? And we must put an end to people who ask that by any means necessary. Because remember: silence is violence, so we must meet violence with violence until there’s silence, which is violence, which we must meet with violence, which is exactly like silence except you wear masks and beat people with metal rods. Remember: No justice, no peace. And injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. So no peace until there’s justice everywhere, which will never happen, so we can beat the hell out of people forever and still feel great about ourselves.”
After Alinsky’s speech, the leftist students gathered for a friendly barbecue, but it had to be called off because all the Jews had escaped.
The New York Times, a former newspaper, also contributed to the national conversation with a think piece by Times editor Hannah Lyin-Ass Jones, the author of the famous 1619 Conspiracy, which declares that the founding of America was really a plot to destroy the economy of Africa by buying up all their slaves so there was no one left to mine the vibranium. Ms. Lyin-Ass Jones wrote, “You have to understand what violence is. When a black drug addict dies while resisting arrest and we pretend that’s evidence of systemic racism in order to incite riots in over 150 cities where businesses, homes and entire neighborhoods are left in ashes and at least 25 people are killed, that’s not violence. We need a totally different word for that, like Flower-Sunshine-ism or Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude or Black-Lives-Matter — something that sounds really nice and heartwarming. Violence is when Charlie Kirk says that Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn’t have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice for no other reason than that she’s a black woman who doesn’t happen to have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice. That is hate, and hate is violence and violence must be met with Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude until everyone who disagrees with us is dead.” 
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
To get the conservative side of the argument, we visited an undisclosed location where half the staff of the Daily Wire is hiding under lockdown after receiving death threats from the pro-transgender group called “Say I’m A Woman or Die.” One staffer, who preferred to remain anonymous because he selfishly wants to live to be thirty, told us, “I’m sure with a magnifying glass and a spotlight you can find the occasional right-wing lunatic who wants to hurt someone, but that’s different from an entire leftist culture that demonizes disagreement as fascism so that over 50 percent of leftists believe it’s justifiable to…”
But at this point, the staffer was interrupted when a flaming arrow crashed through the window bearing a note from Say I’m A Woman or Die, that read, “Say I’m a Woman or Die!” The staffer angrily hurled the arrow back through the broken window and was immediately cited as an example of right-wing violence by The New York Times.
The incident was ridiculed that night by Jimmy Kimmel, whose courageous fight to ensure that every comedian on television has the same political opinion has won him the support of the Hollywood leftist group “Hate Donald Trump or Die!” The group issued a statement saying, “All right-wingers must be silenced and silence is violence, so it’s the right-wing that is violent because they’re silenced. Debate over.”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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This is What Democracy Looks Like

Democrats: If Silence Is Violence, We Must Meet Violence With Violence Until There’s Silence

Democrats

With the baby boomers dying off, many people ask me, &#8220;What is Gen Z like, and what does it mean for the future?&#8221; But with the baby boomers dying off, I don’t have time to answer — and anyway, what’s it to me?
However, there is a new poll out on how these Gen Z whippersnappers see things, and the results are very encouraging in the sense they’ll allow me to die happy in the knowledge that the rest of you are screwed.
The poll of around 3,000 respondents between the ages of 18 and 29 was specially designed to elicit information from young people by posing its questions in the form of emojis and inarticulate whining noises and then pretending to take the answers seriously. The results had a margin of error of 79%, because the young people had no clue what the hell they were talking about and then changed their minds when they found out what life was really like.
The young people were asked such questions as: What do you value most? Is America headed in the right direction? What the hell do you know, you nose-ringed freak? And why don’t you get a job and find your own place to live, you’re 20-years old already, for crying out loud? The respondents were then divided by gender using a buzz saw and a surgical needle threaded with fishing line. Then the genders were separated politically by riot police with tear gas and rubber bullets. Finally, the survivors sat around smoking weed until the women fell asleep and the men, of course, had sex with them.
The results of the poll show that among young men, the number one thing they valued most was having children. The number four thing they valued most was getting married. Numbers two and three were avoiding paying child support and using pig’s blood during a paternity test before changing their names and moving out of state.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1249-a-bend-in-the-arc-of-history?contentProgram=The%20Andrew%20Klavan%20Show&amp;contentType=ShowEpisode&amp;elementPosition=2&amp;location=Home%20Tab&amp;row=0&amp;rowType=Home%20Featured%20Carousel"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Among women, the number one thing they valued most was their jobs, the number two thing they valued was emotional stability and the number three thing they valued were anti-depressants. These women also valued making TikTok videos expressing completely nonsensical opinions in a smug voice while smiling like Anthony Perkins in the last frame of “Psycho,” and secretly wishing some guy would marry them and tell them what to do because they’re obviously out of their minds.
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The poll also revealed ingrained differences between young men and women when it came to political issues. For instance, 56% of young men feel that Donald Trump is doing an excellent job as president, while 82% of young women also have political opinions but nobody bothered to write them down because, let’s face it, who cares?
The biggest political divide between the genders was on immigration. Young women felt that it was a crying shame to deport an upstanding pillar of the community just because he had come here illegally, and had drunkenly crashed his car into an elementary school, then escaped before the police discovered the child tied up in his trunk. Young men didn’t answer the question because they were too busy watching cool videos of ICE agents slamming fat Mexicans into the sides of their jalopies while screaming the f-word.
One surprising result in the poll is that young people increasingly favor socialism. They listed their primary reasons as — one — they’d have a lot of time to play “Candy Crush” while they were standing in line to get a loaf of bread. Two, they’ve seen the mini-series “Chernobyl” and it looked really cool when people’s flesh started to melt like in a science fiction movie only real. And three, under socialism, there would be no corporations and everything would be free, so you could just pick up a new iPhone any time you wanted … wherever it is that iPhones come from.
All in all, the results of the poll demonstrated that Generation Z is called Generation Z for a good reason: namely, nothing comes after Z.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

People waiting in line to enter in a store – Social distancing concept

New Poll: Gen Z Likes Socialism, Willing To Wait In Line For Loaf Of Bread

Democratic Socialism

Gen Z

Poll

Socialism

President Trump became the first American president to be hosted at a second state visit to Great Britain this week. The President was greeted with a parade of British soldiers wearing dress red uniforms and marching in perfect unison while ragtag American soldiers popped up from behind rocks and trees and shot at them until they surrendered.
Trump and his wife Melania were given a lavish state dinner at Windsor Castle. Trump told the other guests that he was astounded by the beauty of the castle, and said it was absolutely amazing what you could do with Legos.
The dinner was attended by many British dignitaries including Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who gave a brief toast in which he pledged to continue lowering the British voting age until the electorate was ignorant enough to keep the Labour party in power. 
Also at the Dinner was Education Minister Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa, the founder of the Fatwa Pre-School for the Grooming of Naughty but Strangely Alluring Little White Girls. The Education Minister presented Trump with a ceremonial scimitar which, luckily, just missed when the president turned his head at the last minute to point at a chart showing just how many Islamists he plans to deport after meeting Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa.
The dinner was also attended by the mayors of several major British cities, including Mayor Fatwa Mohammed Mohammed Fatwa, the mayor of Birming-al-hambra, and, of course, the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa followed by several more Fatwas and Mohammeds.
The dinner began with a grace said by the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was then arrested for praying within 300 miles of an abortion clinic. Kemi Badenoch, the leader of Britain’s Conservative Party, called the arrest absurd, saying Britain was a Christian nation, after which she was arrested for violating the blasphemy laws. Keir Starmer explained that the U.K. absolutely has free speech but only as long as you talk silently to yourself and are not within 750 miles of an abortion clinic, where such talk could be mistaken for praying to the God of love and life, which would be offensive to the nation’s terrorists. Fortunately Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa did not hear Kemi Badenoch’s offensive remark because he was busy on the phone, arranging the sale of some of his pre-school students.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974739 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1024x171.webp" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1024x171.webp 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-300x50.webp 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-768x128.webp 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1536x256.webp 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-2048x341.webp 2048w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
King Charles III then gave a speech, in which he spoke warmly of the special relationship between the U.S. and the U.K., saying that the two nations shared many values, although he couldn’t name them for fear of being arrested. President Trump then rose and also gave a speech, saying that Great Britain was one of his favorite places in the middle east, even though he’d gotten a much nicer present from Qatar, who gave him a jet, while the British only gave him some cheap oil painting of Winston Churchill, which was then confiscated for spreading imperialist ideas that were offensive to the Muslims who were conquering the country.
The affair ended with Princess Kate and Melania Trump trying to decide who was more glamorous with an arm wrestling match. Princess Kate managed to pin the First Lady, but Melania responded by taking off that gigantic circular hat she wears and spinning it at Kate as if it were Oddjob’s derby in &#8220;Goldfinger.&#8221; Fortunately for relations between the two nations, Kate managed to duck, and the hat sailed past her and beheaded Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa, who congratulated the First Lady on mastering the essentials of sharia law.
After the dinner, Trump accompanied Prime Minister Starmer on a tour of factories and businesses that Labour has destroyed by their socialist policies. Trump said he was delighted to make the state visit, but said next time he had to come to one of these crap-hole countries, he hoped it would be someplace like Haiti, so at least he could get some sun.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

UK Hosts President Trump And First Lady Melania Trump For State Visit – Day Two

Trump Visits Great Britain, His Favorite Place In The Middle East

England

Great Britain

King Charles III

President Trump

I grew up in an age of assassinations. The President, John F. Kennedy, was gunned down in 1963, when I was nine years old. His brother, Robert Kennedy, was killed five years later, little more than a month after I saw him at a campaign event in my home town. That was the same month Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered. Malcolm X had been killed three years before.
Americans often speak proudly of our peaceful transitions of power, but that is because we are only thinking in terms of political power. Yes, compared to the violence that often accompanied the change of rulers in imperial Rome or medieval England, our transfers of leadership are relatively tranquil. Our system of free elections circumvents the need for violent revolution.
But in a democratic republic, political power is bestowed by the people, and the ideas of the people are shaped by the culture. When cultural power changes hands in the U.S., that’s when the shooting starts. The Civil War did not begin because Abraham Lincoln threatened to free the slaves. He didn’t. The war began because his election telegraphed to the slave states that the tide of the culture was shifting against them.
The 1960s marked the dawn of another such shift. A leftward swing was in the making, a rebellion against the post-war consensus. New voices were rising in the academies and in the arts, voices that challenged the efficacy of capitalism, the treatment of minorities, the roles of women, and traditional norms of language, behavior, and dress. It was as that shift was forming, that leaders who spoke even moderately of change began to seem threatening, that rhetoric became inflated and incendiary, and that dealing death began to seem a reasonable political action in the worst of minds. It didn’t work. If anything, it destroyed reasonable leaders like the Kennedys and MLK, and allowed them to be replaced by radicals and grifters.
Today is also such a time.
For at least the last thirty years, American culture has been all but monopolized by the Left. The news media are almost exclusively located in left-wing coastal enclaves. Journalists’ political donations go to Democrats by a huge margin. The news coverage of Donald Trump’s largely moderate policies is relentlessly negative, not to mention hysterical, childish, and absurd. In Hollywood, outspoken conservatives are vanishingly rare. Those less entrenched than, say, Clint Eastwood and Jon Voight keep their mouths shut and, when they don’t, it hobbles their careers. In the academies, conservative speakers are routinely greeted by demonstrations and violence. Liberal arts courses are no longer liberal: they are indoctrination centers where leftist critical theory drowns out the voices of classic writers and thinkers of the past.
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1247-the-opposite-of-murder?elementPosition=0&amp;row=5&amp;rowHeadline=The+Andrew+Klavan+Show&amp;rowType=Horizontal+Show+Episodes+Carousel">WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show</a></h3>
Only such a cultural monopoly could have spread the radical ideas of the left and bullied businesses and citizens into pretending to believe their ridiculous untruths. People can’t change sex. Dysfunction in black communities is caused by black culture, not racism. Women have grown steadily unhappier under feminism. Homosexuality is not a source of pride. Facts are not hate speech, and what some may call hate speech is protected under the First Amendment. These are not bigoted, mean, radical opinions. To those who break through the fog of leftist narrative, there are obvious conclusions drawn from the evidence of our own eyes. The years in which the Left was able to declare these self-evident truths unspeakable were years of cultural tyranny.
But now, the leftist cultural monopoly is crumbling. New media — like the Daily Wire, Elon Musk’s X, and the Megyn Kelly and Joe Rogan podcasts — have risen to prominence in spite of widespread attempts by the government and social media outlets to censor us, demonize us, and starve us out. We have not yet developed the cultural power of radical left-wing institutions like the New York Times, Yale University, and Disney, but we are able to debunk the distortions of those institutions almost as fast as they can produce them.
On the night Donald Trump was re-elected, it was immediately evident that the tide had turned. The ceaseless news stories calling Trump an authoritarian, the banana republic lawfare with which the powerful tried to imprison him, the media-wide (and mordantly hilarious) attempts to depict first Joe Biden then Kamala Harris as viable presidential candidates — all these strategies and more were not enough to create a narrative the majority of voters would believe. Like the American Revolutionaries who inspired us, our ragtag band of culture warriors had beaten back an Empire of Lies.
Charlie Kirk was the next generation of that effort. He believed in God, in family, and in American liberty, things that most Americans have believed for nearly 250 years. He utilized techniques of open debate pioneered by forerunners like Ben Shapiro and Steven Crowder to invade the academic enclaves of the left and create free conversations that freed minds. Inscriptions on the bullets in the gun that killed him suggest the killer believed Charlie to be a fascist. The killer is responsible for his own actions, but that utterly false belief was impressed upon him through the power of a culture too long dominated by radicals.
That culture is over. That power is changing hands.
I sometimes joke to my wife that I am the Ernie Pyle of the Culture War. Not a speaker-slash-debater like Ben. Not an activist master of samizdat like Matt Walsh. Not a future politician like Michael Knowles. Just a writer in the trenches who tries to get an up-close view of the fight and report what’s happening.
This is what’s happening: We’re winning.
Watch your six.
* * *
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>

MixCollage-12-Sep-2025-03-22-PM-3225

In America, Violence Arises When Cultural Power Shifts

In America, Violence Arises When Cultural Power Shift

Charlie Kirk

Conservatives

Culture

Leftists

Political Violence

Recently, some of you may have noticed the Cracker Barrel restaurant and gift store chain changed its logo. They removed the picture of the so-called “Old Timer,” who was meant to represent the chain’s southern-style comfort food and old-fashioned country store feeling, and left that space blank to represent the pit of fiery eternal damnation loud with the shrieks of the condemned into which the chain had fallen by supporting child sex changes, drag shows for children, and racist hiring practices.
The move was supposed to help the struggling chain’s finances by ensuring that no conservative customer entered one of their venues ever again. Those alienated customers would be replaced by large numbers of imaginary progressives just waiting for an old-fashioned, down-home, southern-style restaurant catering to pedophilia-adjacent homosexuals with a hankering for crunchy fried chicken.
But Right-wing activists loudly protested the logo change, and when it turned out the new imaginary customers were paying for their imaginary meals with imaginary money, Cracker Barrel was forced to replace the Old Timer in the empty space, in the hopes they could keep their usual customers and avoid the eternal shriek-filled pit of sin-tortured souls the empty space represented.
Now, at this point, the flaming shriek-filled pit of sin-tortured souls known as the American news media, began to express their opinions, which were all the same opinion, because all the American news media’s opinions are decanted from a single brain, which is kept on a lightning-lashed altar in the fog-shrouded cave-dwelling of Chernabog, who was the demon from Bald Mountain in Disney’s Fantasia, before he left to take a job in Disney’s animation department.
The opinion of the news media was that conservatives were oh-so-very silly to make such a big fuss over a meaningless logo change at a failing chain restaurant, and how far, oh how very far, American culture had fallen from those golden days when real intellectuals like Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley exchanged sparkling ideas by screaming slurs and threatening to punch each other in the face, while the Left swarmed over our institutions like locusts, devouring everything from Christianity to the First Amendment. Just how stupid could these Fox-News-Watching Neanderthals be that they would waste their energies trying to cancel an innocent restaurant that was simply trying to take their customers’ money to fund actions their customers found contemptible?
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show">WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show</a></h3>
And I thought to myself: Oh, American news media, how right you are! Who cares about these little meaningless changes in the culture? In fact, just for fun, I would like to suggest a few meaningless cultural changes of my own.
For instance, how about conservatives buy the rights to the gay situation comedy “Will and Grace” and reboot the show, but this time, Will embraces Catholicism, and hilarity ensues as gay Will struggles with his physical desires in order to live a life in keeping with his faith. I’m sure the elite news media wouldn’t mind a meaningless little culture change like that one tiny bit.
What about color-blind casting? The current rules are, it’s okay to have Jesus Christ portrayed by a black woman, but it’s very bad to have a deaf character portrayed by an actor who can hear. So how about, as a change of pace, we have Jesus Christ portrayed by a Jewish actor who’s deaf, and when the left says, “Hey, he’s supposed to be a black woman,” the actor can say, “What? I couldn’t hear you! I’m deaf!” I’m sure the media wouldn’t complain about that at all.
Or, I know. Let’s reboot the hit 1970’s slavery drama “Roots,” only in this version, instead of a white man heading into the African interior to capture slaves, the white slaver just waits in his ship like in real life until the black Africans bring their black slaves to him so he can take them to a country where hundreds of thousands of white men will ultimately die to free them, about fifty years before white imperialists force their African colonies to free their slaves as well. I’m sure the news media would love that fresh, original take on an old favorite. 
In fact, just for giggles, let’s change all the Left’s favorite franchises so that they represent something the Left truly despises: the American people.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

Cracker Barrel Redesigns Its Logo

The Easy Way To Ensure No Conservative Will Ever Visit Your Store

Corporations

Cracker Barrel

Restaurant

Woke Culture

The Democrat National Committee held its summer meeting in the smoldering ruins of Minneapolis’s George Floyd Plaza this week, where they rented a hall from the local chapter of the Crips, next to the homeless encampments erected amidst the charred timbers of what once were local businesses, so Democrat officials could try to uncover the mysterious reasons why support for their party is in a decline so sharp, it reminds Americans of the decline in their children’s well-being after Teachers Unions introduced cartoon homosexual pornography into their kindergartens in preparation for changing the children’s sex without telling their parents.
The unfathomable mystery of why the Democrats are losing so many voters was addressed during the last three minutes of an hour-long panel discussion, which was all the time that was left after fifty-seven minutes of land acknowledgements paying tribute to the indigenous tribes who once held ceremonial dinners on that spot whenever they could find someone to eat.
Among the ever-so-puzzling riddles the Democrats sought to answer were: Why are Donald Trump’s anti-crime measures so popular with people who don’t want to be killed?
DNC Chairman Ilhan Jihad Mohammed Pazuzu Mohammed Jihad Jihad, whose pronouns are “They,” “It,” “Snookums” and “Death-to-the-Jews,” addressed the gathered Democrats from a bullet-proof booth in the hall’s Conference Room Number MS-13, renamed the Kilmar Abrego Garcia ballroom for the occasion. Ms. or Possibly Mister Pazuzu Mohammed Jihad Jihad said, “Donald Trump can garner quick headlines by bringing down crime with cheap tricks like putting more law officers on the streets, but we have to find real solutions, like setting criminals free without bail. When you put, say, an accused murderer in prison just because he can’t afford bail, all you do is make him so angry, he would kill again, if he weren’t, you know, in prison. Also, we need more youth programs and anti-racist training because that sort of useless crap has been very successful for us in the past, or if it hasn’t, at least there’s no one left to tell the tale. And we have to address the root causes of crime like poverty and racism, and sure, while we’re diddling around with that nonsense, we may lose some voters in the occasional weekend massacre, but remember this: Not only will each murderer we set free become a Democrat voter, but so will his victims.”
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show">WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show</a></h3>
The Democrats also addressed the brain-busting conundrum of why so many men are abandoning the Democrat party, clutching their testicles in self-defense until they can escape to a red state where they’ll be safe. To get the male perspective, Governor Tim Walz was brought in to speak openly as a straight man, instead of what we all know he actually is. Governor Walz said, “Everyone talks about the divisions in our party, but so what? There are divisions in my family, with my wife constantly complaining about how sick she is of dressing up like Timothy Chalamet just to get some attention. But the guy’s a great actor, right? Who the hell doesn’t want to sleep with Timothy Chalamet? And as my wife always says, ‘Diversity is our strength.’ Or maybe she says, ‘divorce is our strength.’ It’s hard to make out the words when she’s wearing the Timothy Chalamet mask.”
The party conference did become contentious when Democrats were divided between two different declarations on the war in Gaza, one calling for the immediate slaughter of Israeli Jews, and the other calling for their agonizing demise slowly over time. Ultimately, the two sides settled on a compromise calling for a two-state solution: the state of Israel, and the state dedicated to wiping Israel off the map if it’s the last thing they ever do.
In the words of DNC Co-Chairman Jasmine X. Stalin, “When Hitler killed the Jews, the Jews were good, but now that Jews are killing the people who killed the Jews, the Jews are Hitler and good is evil. And that’s what the Democrat party stands for: good, by which we mean evil.”
The Democrats say they will continue searching for the hidden reasons for their unpopularity until they can win elections again and get back to destroying the country.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>.
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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Ten years ago, The Daily Wire burst onto the scene. With the support of its loyal members, it has become a leader in the conservative movement — reshaping American culture and politics.
To mark the 10th anniversary — and to thank the members who keep us fighting — Friendly Fire launches September 10 on DailyWire+. Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, Michael Knowles, and Andrew Klavan are back together on screen, delivering sharp social and political commentary — and the kind of fiery, unmoderated debates only they can spark.
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
Introducing “Friendly Fire” &#8211; the unfiltered show where Shapiro, Walsh, Knowles, Klavan &amp; more of your DW favorites debate politics, culture, and the general chaos of the day’s headlines🔥
Celebrate 10 years of The Daily Wire with the live premiere Sept. 10 on DailyWire+ <a href="https://t.co/PBY7tWrcIi">pic.twitter.com/PBY7tWrcIi</a>
— Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) <a href="https://twitter.com/realDailyWire/status/1960054017742020759?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2025</a></blockquote>
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A lot has changed since September 2015. Donald Trump was elected president (twice), a pandemic shook the nation, Democrats and Big Tech cracked down on the freedoms of conservatives, and gender ideology and DEI spread through schools, businesses, and government.
But common sense and conservative values kept fighting back. Shows from Shapiro, Walsh, Knowles, and Klavan helped conservatives stay engaged and politically potent. And millions of Americans who followed and subscribed to The Daily Wire helped us push back against the cultural decline accelerated by the Biden administration and its leftist allies.
<a href="https://get.dailywire.com/subscribe/plus/?utm_campaign=summer&amp;utm_content=editorialsummersale&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_source=editorial" target="_blank" rel="noopener">End of Summer Sale – Get 40% off New DailyWire+ Annual Memberships</a>
The fight isn’t over. That’s why DailyWire+ is rolling out more content: films like <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/videos/journey-to-the-ufc-joe-pyfer?row=0&amp;elementPosition=2&amp;rowType=Square+Show+Carousel">Journey to the UFC</a>, Jordan Peterson’s <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-jordan-b-peterson-podcast">Answer the Call</a>, Michael Knowles’ docuseries <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-pope-and-the-fuhrer-the-secret-vatican-files-of-world-war-ii">The Pope and the Führer</a>, and <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-isabel-brown-show">The Isabel Brown Show</a>, premiering September 8.
It’s been a decade of disruption and growth. But the best of The Daily Wire is yet to come. <a href="https://get.dailywire.com/subscribe/plus/">Join us</a> for the next decade.

The Boys Are Back: Daily Wire Hosts Celebrate A Decade Of Success With Launch Of New Show

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