Through four books now, fans of Andrew Klavan’s Cameron Winter novels have wondered if the assassin-turned-poetry professor would conquer his inner demons and realize his life’s great ambition: becoming worthy of a good woman’s love. In his fifth outing, After That, the Dark, readers may at last have their answer.
This installment finds Winter continuing to flirt with faith — literally. The object of his affection, therapist Gwendolyn Lord, is a committed Christian, and her belief in the spiritual realm prompts Winter to wonder whether his latest case is bringing him in contact with the demonic. 
When Winter first meets Gwendolyn in the third book of the series, The House of Love and Death, he tells her of his “strange habit of mind&#8221; that leads him to obsess over crimes that don’t make sense. Remembering this, now that Cam has, thanks to therapy, overcome his guilt and self-loathing enough to ask her out on a date, Gwendolyn shares the story of an “impossible murder.”  
After a mental breakdown leads him to slaughter his wife and baby, upstanding Tulsa man Owen McKay is confined to a jail cell and under constant video surveillance when he’s found dead of a single bullet to the heart. The authorities preposterously rule his death a suicide, but it’s obvious to Winter they’re covering up evidence.
Just as he’s decided to solve the classic locked room mystery to impress Gwendolyn, he gets word of a similar murder in Connecticut. Once again, a loving husband and father is overcome by dark impulses that seem completely out of character. Is technology or something even more malevolent driving these violent breaks? And are there other ordinary family men out there at risk of committing similar crimes? 
Klavan tells me part of the fun of writing this novel was contrasting Gwendolyn’s faith with Cam’s agnosticism as they consider motives for the killings. “Cam’s absolutely crazy about Gwendolyn from the first minute he sees her in one of the earlier books,” Klavan shares, “but at the same time, she&#8217;s saying things that make him feel like he doesn&#8217;t know what she&#8217;s talking about. Every time she says, ‘Well, maybe it&#8217;s a problem with demons,’ he&#8217;s thinking, ‘What on earth is this woman?&#8217; But at the same time, he&#8217;s swept away by her. So he&#8217;s trying to take it seriously.”
As Cam continues to hunt for clues, he discovers the killers may have been possessed by a more artificial form of intelligence — one that’s learned to take advantage of ordinary human predilections for evil. 
Klavan says that if he were starting out writing today, he would focus on science fiction for the simple reason that while technology is moving faster than ever and challenging our culture’s moral boundaries like never before, ultimately, it is still our own virtue, or lack of it, that shapes how we use the tools the best and brightest minds invent. 
“It&#8217;s never the technology. It&#8217;s always the people,” Klavan says. “People always say, ‘We&#8217;ve got to regulate this.’ But you can’t regulate technology. You regulate what people do because people do evil things. And so, everything we create has a possibility to do something good and has a possibility to do something bad. And people being what they are, those who want to do bad with them are kind of ahead of the game.”
This focus on the fallen nature of man occupies Winter’s mind, too, as he considers his service to his country and weighs the assassinations he once considered patriotic. 
“No country can really be good, can it?” he thinks. “They’ve all got people in them. And you know what they’re like.” At the same time, he is coming to understand that the inability of a country and its people to be all good doesn’t erase their noble and worthy aspects. He even begins to realize that his protective instincts may redeem his own lethal past—the one that has so plagued his psyche during his sessions with therapist, Margaret: if taking up killing again means protecting Gwendolyn.
“Cam had a major breakthrough in the fourth book,” Klavan explains. “He really deals with the past that has had its grip on him, and he’s now he&#8217;s free, and we&#8217;re going to see what he&#8217;s like when he gets rid of all this baggage. I mean, here&#8217;s a guy who walks into mortal danger cool and calm. He&#8217;s a courageous guy, yet he cannot bring himself to call this girl on the phone, because he knows she matters. He knows she&#8217;s not just another girl. He knows that this is something important. And so when he finally works up the courage and does it, it is a genuine catapult into his own future. And so I think that this is the book where Cam becomes fully himself.”  
And a Cam who is fully himself may have to return to the work he once did so well—removing opposition. But this time, he will do it not for duty. Not for country. But for love.

Andrew Klavan, After That, the Dark

Winter In Love: In New Book, Andrew Klavan’s Tortured Detective Finally Gets The Girl

Andrew Klavan

Christianity

Faith

love

Mystery

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Thriller

The movie business has just suffered the worst Halloween box office in over 30 years, causing many people who think seriously about Hollywood to laugh uproariously while baring their buttocks in the direction of Los Angeles and singing made-up song lyrics that rhyme with “Pharma is a glitch, you sleazy brother duckers!”
The box office tally showed that after releasing around 11 Halloween-themed movies for the October holiday at an overall production cost of about $300 million, industry leaders drew in enough money to buy a jumbo popcorn at the candy counter if the nice old man standing in line behind them gave them an extra nickel out of the goodness of his heart.
But while Hollywood zillionaires have been openly dripping scorn on the values, lifestyles, religion, and patriotism of the American public for the last 30 years, that doesn’t mean Americans are celebrating the industry’s hilariously humiliating fall down a bottomless well of hilarious humiliation. Sure, there have been one-or two-or five-hundred nationwide fortnight-long parties at which burning effigies of Bob Iger are hung from trees while adults and children alike dance in circles beneath them singing made-up lyrics that rhyme with, “Burn, you supercilious niece of split!” But that’s only because they wanted to melt chocolate and marshmallows for their s&#8217;mores, and a burning effigy of Bob Iger strung from a tree happened to be near at hand, as always.
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, studio executives are trying to solve the mysteriously puzzling conundrum-like enigma of why their latest films are not causing what used to be the movie-going public to leave their homes, where they’re busy playing darts with the headshots of loudmouth actors.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
One studio executive, Chazer Shmendrik of Crapola Pictures, took time out to talk to a reporter while coming home to his third wife from his 14-year-old mistress’s house before stopping off at his dealer on his way to a fundraiser for the Shout Your Abortion Foundation. Shmendrik said, “I just can’t figure out why the folks aren’t showing up for our movies. We’ve given them homosexual propaganda for children, turned all their favorite franchises into socialist rants, denigrated masculinity, banned femininity, barred the depiction of white men as heroes, and cast the president of the United States as everything from a black lesbian to a saintly Islamist. We even made a movie about a 58-year-old girl-boss who laps milk out of a saucer in order to debase herself in front of a 25-year-old man. I mean, we’ve tried everything. What the hell else does this audience want anyway?”
Other executives said the poor Halloween box office was either due to competition from the World Series or the government shutdown, or the fact that Halloween fell on a Friday this year, or maybe just that Americans are sick of giving money to tawdry jerkwads who hate them. 
But even as Hollywood tried to determine where they might have gone wrong, the industry was rocked by another scandal when bombshell actress Lefty Vavoom showed up at an elite gala wearing a shocking full-sleeved blouse and ankle-length skirt that revealed every inch of her modesty and restrained sexual behavior. As paparazzi snaps of the starlet’s outfit appeared on front pages under red-ink shock headlines, feminist critics reacted in rage.
At the New York Times, a former newspaper, feminist columnist Banshee McScreamyface wrote, “At a time when women in the workplace are facing disrespect for simply exercising their right to descend to the lowest levels of self-hating sexual degradation, how can we proclaim our feminist principles if our Hollywood role models strut around in non-see-through blouses that don’t even expose their nipples? I don’t want to seem old-fashioned but we need a return to the good old days when Kanye West’s girlfriends came to parties wearing nothing but a dog collar, proudly proclaiming the legacy of feminism, namely obsessive self-abuse and soulless immiseration.”
Trembling before the feminist blast no one else read, Hollywood moguls immediately signed a pledge to cast more black actors in roles that make no earthly sense, and release another movie in which Nicole Kidman humiliates herself in the nude in time for her sixtieth birthday.
If that doesn’t win back the audience, nothing will. And let’s hope nothing will.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is NOW AVAILABLE. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

Friends watching scary movie at movie theater

Hollywood’s Halloween Horror: Woke Films So Bad They’re Scaring Audiences Away

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The New York Mayoral election is a few days away, and all across the city, New Yorkers are already preparing for a victory by Democrat Zohran Mamdani. Some prepare by using their laptops as kickboards and attempting to paddle across Long Island Sound to Connecticut. Others are staging re-enactments of the scene in The Ten Commandments where people gather their belongings and livestock and head into the wilderness for forty years rather than facing the future at home. More philosophical and reflective New Yorkers simply sit in the shadow of the noose they’ve hung from the ceiling heating pipes, weeping quietly into their Pumpkin Spiced Lattes.
Meanwhile, Mamdani continues his charisma-fueled campaign, with his face lit by a smile so charming it reminds supporters of Pennywise the Clown just before he entices a child into the sewer by offering him a red balloon.
In an appearance before a gathering of the American Federation of Islamist Terrorists Bent on Killing Everybody and Blaming Israel (the AFITBKEBI), Mamdani delivered his closing arguments to an enthusiastic crowd gaily decked out in brightly colored sticks of dynamite.
Mamdani said: “When I am mayor, there will be free buses powered by rainbow-colored unicorn farts and health care that will be paid for by taxing all the rich people who used to live here before they left so I wouldn’t be able to tax them. And there’ll be government grocery stores where the shelves will be packed with totally free luxury goods that you can almost see if you close your eyes and imagine very hard. And sure, I’ve claimed the police are oppressors funded by the Jews, and sure, I’ve said I want to seize the means of production just like the murderous tyrant Vladimir Lenin, and yes, I’ve supported terrorists and criminals who prey on the innocent, but those are just things I actually believe in. This is the time to forget all that and come into the sewer where I’ll give you a red balloon.”
The speech was broadly criticized by virulent Islamophobes and other groups opposed to being blown up and beheaded, but the people who were there greeted Mamdani’s words with explosive applause, or just explosives.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/aks-ep-1253?elementPosition=0&amp;row=5&amp;rowHeadline=The+Andrew+Klavan+Show&amp;rowType=Horizontal+Show+Episodes+Carousel"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Some Democrats have hesitated to endorse Mamdani. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, for instance, can’t decide whether to press the big red button marked “I have no core beliefs so I’ll pretend to stand with the lunatic base,” or the identical red button marked “I have no core beliefs so I’ll pretend to reject extremism in case there are still some Democrats who aren’t total scumbags like myself.”
On the other hand, New York Governor Kathy Hochul has gone all in, endorsing Mamdani at the annual meeting of the Society for Evil Clowns who Entice Innocent Children into Sewers with Red Balloons, (or SECEICSRB). Governor Hochul said, “When people ask me why I endorse Zohran Mamdani for New York Mayor, I simply tell them: Look in my eyes. Do you see anything there but an endless darkness in which values and ethics are dissolved to nothing by the acid of my ambition and love of power? How could you, when my very soul is a portal into a living hell of desire for the empty simulacrum of love that is the vote of fools who are being enticed into a catastrophe of American-hating dysfunction by their own ignorance and envy which allow them to be charmed out of rational thought by a creepy smile and obvious lies. So vote for Mamdani! Otherwise I’ll just have to live with myself, which would be intolerable.”
Hochul’s speech was praised for its startling honesty by the editorial board of the New York Post, just before they headed downtown with backpacks full of gold bars in the hopes they could bribe their way through the Holland Tunnel and reach New Jersey.
But Mamdani continues to have the support of younger voters, like one 25-year-old who told reporters, “I love Mamdani because he reminds me of the golden days of my childhood, and that funny clown who hid in the sewer and offered me a red balloon. I can’t exactly remember what happened after that. But I guess we’re about to find out.”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is NOW AVAILABLE. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

NYC Mayoral Candidate Zohran Mamdani Campaigns At Brooklyn Senior Center

Why Does Mamdani Remind Me Of Pennywise The Clown?

Democratic Socialism

Mayor

New York City

Zohran Mamdani

Daily Wire host Andrew Klavan’s latest installment in his Cameron Winter detective series is flying off the shelves, becoming the most popular new release among similar books on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Dark-Cameron-Mysteries/dp/B0F95HQXQF/ref=zg_bsnr_g_7538398011_d_sccl_1/130-6421290-9842518?isALC=true">Amazon</a>. 
Klavan’s book “<a href="https://store.dailywire.com/products/after-that-the-dark-cameron-winter-mysteries-book-5?variant=43284484587580">After That, the Dark</a>,” was the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/new-releases/books/7538398011/ref=zg_b_hnr_7538398011_1">No. 1 book</a> on Amazon’s new releases in private investigator mysteries as of Friday afternoon. The book climbed to the top spot just days after its October 28 release. 
“After That, the Dark” is the fifth installment in Klavan’s USA Today bestselling Cameron Winter mystery series. This story begins with Cameron Winter falling in love, but it soon becomes a mystery cloaked in conspiracy and death. 
After finally working up the courage to contact the attractive therapist Gwendolyn Lord, he finds himself immersed in a passion that feels heaven-sent. When Gwendolyn tells him about a true-life “locked room mystery,” Winter feels compelled to investigate.
Join us now during our exclusive Deal of the Decade. Get everything for $7 a month. Not as fans. As fighters. Go to <a href="http://dailywire.com/Subscribe" target="_blank" rel="noopener">DailyWire.com/Subscribe</a> to join now.
In Tulsa, Oklahoma, a solid citizen named Owen McKay suddenly went mad and killed his wife and child. Locked in a padded cell and monitored on video, he was nonetheless discovered dead from a projectile fired into his head. As Winter begins to ask questions, he finds Tulsa officials have been intimidated into silence by a killer who once tried to attack Winter during his days as a government assassin. What’s more, another mysterious death, just like McKay’s, has taken place in Connecticut. And both murders seem linked to a sinister billionaire who once clashed with Winter’s old mentor, the Recruiter.
Winter’s past and present are coming together in a single dangerous conspiracy. And though Winter desperately wants to escape his career as an assassin, his love for Gwendolyn is deepening quickly and he will do anything―and kill anyone―to protect her.
“After That, the Dark” is available now at <a href="https://store.dailywire.com/products/after-that-the-dark-cameron-winter-mysteries-book-5?utm_campaign=after-that-the-dark&amp;utm_content=20251031&amp;utm_source=editorial">Daily Wire Shop</a>, where readers can also obtain a <a href="https://store.dailywire.com/products/after-that-the-dark-cameron-winter-mysteries-book-5?utm_campaign=after-that-the-dark&amp;utm_content=20251031&amp;utm_source=editorial">signed copy</a> of Klavan’s latest hair-raising mystery. 
Want to read more before you buy? Check out the prologue and first chapter of “After That, the Dark” for free at <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/excerpt-get-a-sneak-peek-of-andrew-klavans-forthcoming-book-after-that-the-dark">The Daily Wire</a>. 
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Andrew Klavan’s Newest Mystery Novel Claims No. 1 Spot On Amazon

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It’s been 10 years since The Daily Wire launched and pushed back on the legacy media’s stranglehold on news, commentary, and entertainment. It’s been a decade of fighting the Left at every turn, and a decade of successfully pushing forward conservative values.
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Andrew Klavan’s Newest Mystery Hits The Shelves. Read The Prologue And First Chapter.

Some people are saying that President Trump’s magnificent handling of the Iranian-Hamas terror war against Israel has revealed him to be a political colossus whose opponents on both the left and right are nothing more than small, petty, fleshly instantiations of total irrelevance, with opinions that are meaningless and small and evanescent in their influence and small and also small. Other people are saying other things. Like, “What’s for dinner, Mommy?” or “Read me a story, Daddy,” or “I’m George Stephanopoulos and this is ABC News.”
But even as Trump celebrates getting terrorist hostages released and securing the American border and readjusting the international order so that China, Russia, and a seething hellpit of demonic Jew haters of all stripes don’t take over the world, those who oppose him are vowing to bring him down by unleashing the full force of the tremendous cultural power they used to have until we caught on to them.
So for instance, while Trump is being hailed by leaders around the globe as the Grand Marshal of the parade of history, powerful magazine editors from one end of Manhattan to the same end of Manhattan are vowing that his glamorous First Lady Melania will never, ever appear on the cover of one of their crappy, irrelevant magazines.
The editor of American Vogue magazine, Chloe Irrelevant, announced this shattering act of cultural vengeance in a barn-burning speech at the annual meeting of the Society of Crappy and Irrelevant Magazine Editors, saying, “Trump may have his moment, but as God is my witness, we will show our resistance to him by sinking to levels of pettiness and meanness that the world has not seen since our last issue.”
Miss Irrelevant’s speech seemed to be greeted by thunderous applause until she realized she had wandered into a ladies room, and the people she thought were her audience were just her own reflections in the mirrors over the sinks.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Likewise, in the smoking ruins of what would still be Los Angeles if they had taken Trump’s advice on water usage, both members of the Jimmy Kimmel fan club swore to ignore the Israeli peace deal and to pay tribute instead to Kimmel’s inspiring work of ensuring that every TV comedian has the exact same political opinions as every other TV comedian. To honor Kimmel’s protection of the corporate political conformity enshrined in our Bill of Rights, the Kimmel fans pledged they would actually watch Kimmel’s show one of these days if it didn’t interfere with their nightly gummy overdose.
At the New York Times, a former newspaper, Editor-in-Chief Blithering Prevarication the Third declared that he would not let Trump’s victory over terrorism stop the Times’s relentless juggernaut of misleading headlines, which was sure to bring the president down just as soon as Times subscribers stopped playing Wordle and momentarily glanced at the misleading headlines.
In a speech to the Association of Once-Important News Outlets, which had gathered in a ladies room to hear a speech from the editor of American Vogue, Mr. Third said, “Trump may be powerful now because he has all these accomplishments and what-not, but his authoritarian regime will never survive such fiery tirades as the article we headlined, Pete Buttigieg on Rebuilding America After Trump. This, at last, presents the revolutionary vision of the Transportation Secretary who made history by bringing gay people to the very pinnacle of complete incompetence.”
And so while Donald Trump may enjoy this flash-in-the-pan moment of nine or ten months of unprecedented political achievement, the powerful masters of what used to be our culture until the scales fell from our eyes have not given up their resistance. In the words of influential Harvard Professor Alan Flapdoodle, “We convicted Trump of non-existent felonies, we impeached him for non-existent offenses, we accused him of non-existent treasons, and I know in my heart that, if we can compare him to Hitler just a few more times, he will be brought down once and for all. Our voices are not irrelevant. Our lives are not meaningless. Our dreams will never die. Now if you’ll just put a dollar in my hat, I’ll be happy to play &#8220;Blowin’ in the Wind&#8221; on my harmonica. After all, a man’s gotta eat.”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for PRE-ORDER. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

TOPSHOT-US-POLITICS

While Trump Celebrates World Peace, Democrats Deliver More Irrelevant Speeches

Donald Trump

Israeli hostages

Legacy Media

Middle East

Trump peace plan

Daily Wire hosts discussed Generation Z’s apparent rejection of radical gender theories during the premiere of &#8220;Friendly Fire&#8221; on DailyWire+ Thursday night, debating whether the young generation is headed in a positive direction.
Daily Wire host Michael Knowles kicked off the segment on transgenderism by citing a recent study from the University of Buckingham on &#8220;The Decline of Trans and Queer Identity among Young Americans.&#8221; The study showed that in the past two years, there has been a steady decline among undergrad students who identify as &#8220;nonbinary.&#8221;
Knowles kicked it over to the newest Daily Wire host, Isabel Brown, asking, &#8220;Isabel, I need to know: is your generation not gay anymore?&#8221;
Twenty-eight-year-old Brown, who wrote the book, &#8220;The End of the Alphabet: How Gen Z Can Save America,&#8221; replied, saying, “I have been trying to warn the world that Gen Z, the kids, were alright for a very long time. Literally a year and a half ago, I was laughed off set at every TV station, every radio station, every podcast when I presented my book that Gen Z was going to save America — that no one wanted to be a lame gay chick that Disney wanted us to be.&#8221;
&#8220;None of the information out of this new study shocks me,&#8221; she added. &#8220;The idea of the cultural fad of the transgender cult … has already been disillusioned thanks to people boldly speaking the truth.&#8221;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
.<a href="https://twitter.com/michaeljknowles?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@michaeljknowles</a>: “Isabel, I need to know, is your generation not gay anymore?”<a href="https://twitter.com/theisabelb?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@theisabelb</a>: “I have been trying to warn the world that Gen Z , the kids, were alright for a very long time…The idea of the cultural fad of the transgender cult…has already been disillusioned.” <a href="https://t.co/kXrLovagw4">pic.twitter.com/kXrLovagw4</a>
— Daily Wire (@realDailyWire) <a href="https://twitter.com/realDailyWire/status/1978978239725899866?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 17, 2025</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh, whose documentary &#8220;<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/videos/what-is-a-woman">What is a Woman?</a>&#8221; helped spark the nationwide pushback on radical gender theory, warned people not to put too much stock in the University of Buckingham, adding that radical gender identities are still more popular among Gen Z than any other generation. Walsh, however, said that he does believe studies and anecdotal observations show &#8220;the trans and &#8216;nonbinary&#8217; thing is declining, it&#8217;s losing steam.&#8221;
&#8220;And that was inevitable and the reason why is because no one ever really believed it to begin with,&#8221; Walsh added.
Join us now during our exclusive Deal of the Decade. Get everything for $7 a month. Not as fans. As fighters. Go to <a href="https://get.dailywire.com/subscribe/plus/">DailyWire.com/Subscribe</a> to join now.
He argued that the culture has shifted in recent years, and people are no longer afraid to speak out about the insanity of the transgender identity.
&#8220;I&#8217;m not surprised that we&#8217;re seeing this trend. I don&#8217;t know that we&#8217;re going to see it extend over to homosexuality, but I do think that with trans and &#8216;nonbinary&#8217; that it&#8217;s on its way out,&#8221; Walsh said.
Daily Wire host Andrew Klavan said that he agrees with Brown that Gen Z &#8220;will actually save the world.&#8221;
&#8220;They are not the way the two generations between the Boomers and them are,&#8221; Klavan said. &#8220;They aren&#8217;t hostile, women dress like women, the men look perfectly comfortable being men, they don&#8217;t radiate the same kind of hostility that I get from the people who are around like 50. Somehow feminism seems to have lost its grip on them, and they seem just much more comfortable in their skins, so I&#8217;m hopeful.&#8221;
Daily Wire Editor Emeritus Ben Shapiro chimed in, saying that transgenderism became the &#8220;ultimate victimhood status,&#8221; but now that victimhood status is going out of vogue.
&#8220;The victimhood status went away because of things like what Matt did and what we did, obviously, here at The Daily Wire over the course of the last ten years, and sanity reasserted itself,&#8221; Shapiro said. &#8220;And you&#8217;re no longer considered an inherent victim because you&#8217;re a man who claims to be a woman, or the opposite. In fact, in some cases, you may in fact be an aggressor as we have seen from time to time.&#8221;
Shapiro, however, was not optimistic about the future of Gen Z and warned that many young Americans would move on from radical gender theory and adopt full-blown Marxism, finding their identity in their perceived economic disadvantages. After finding victimhood status in race and sex, Gen Z will move to financial situation, Shapiro argued.
&#8220;I&#8217;m optimistic that people are going to move away from crazier, &#8216;I&#8217;m sexually identifying as a cat&#8217; routine, but I think they are going to increasingly identify as somehow economically dispossessed and then call for massive government interventionism, which is mostly what the [Zohran] Mamdani moment is about,&#8221; Shapiro continued.
&#8220;And that, by the way, is what you&#8217;re seeing mostly in the polls for young people,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Young people are increasingly hot on socialism and communism, they&#8217;re increasingly hot on massive government interventionism, they don&#8217;t really like capitalism very much, so I think that the next victimhood status is going to go back to classic Marx victimhood status.&#8221;

Friendly Fire

Daily Wire Hosts Unpack The Death Of Radical Gender Theory, Whether There’s Hope For Gen Z

There is growing pressure on Democrat Virginia Attorney General candidate Jay Jones to step down, after Jones’s 2022 texts were uncovered in which he fantasized about shooting political opponent Todd Gilbert in the head, and wished Gilbert’s toddler children would die in their mother’s arms. Jones has apologized for the texts and says he was obviously joking since nothing spells comedy like dead children. 
So far, Democrats are standing behind Jones, because it’s obviously much too dangerous to stand in front of him. The Democrats dismiss calls for Jones to quit the race, saying the pressure for his resignation is being manufactured by right-wing news outlets, partisan Republicans, Republicans in name only, Independents, people who vote Democrat because they haven’t realized yet what’s happened to the party, Europeans, Asians, South American cartel members in their rare moments of moral awareness, primitive indigenous peoples who have no clue what the hell is even happening, chimpanzees in zoos who’ve been taught enough sign language to recognize a dirtbag when they see one, and anyone else with an ounce of common decency. 
Abigail Spanberger, the Democrat’s candidate for Virginia governor, says she continues to back Jones 100% because to back him even 1% less would suggest she was nursing some flickering spark of conscience that might force her to change her party affiliation. In a speech to a group of anti-fascists and other fascists, Miss Spanberger said, “When I think of who should be the chief law officer of Virginia, I think of Jay Jones, a man who was once arrested for driving 116 miles an hour, and when he was sentenced to 500 hours of community service, he served every single hour of that sentence by claiming that working for his own political PAC was community service. So this is a man of integrity, although I really have to look that word up, because I’m not sure it means what I think it means.”
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Tim Kaine is also throwing his support behind Jones. Kaine was himself the governor of Virginia and recently made headlines — and I’m not making this part up — Kaine made headlines when he declared that the idea that human rights come from God was “extremely troubling,” and sounded like the sort of thing people believed in theocratic tyrannies like Iran. When Kaine was told the idea came from yet another Virginia governor, Thomas Jefferson, Kaine said Jefferson should be impeached. When Kaine was told that Jefferson had died centuries ago and was, in fact, one of the founding fathers of the United States of America, Kaine broke down and admitted that he was a complete ignoramus and should not have any say at all in how America was governed and had therefore decided to become a U.S. Senator. 
In a speech to a meeting of anti-racists and other racists, Kaine said, “Jay Jones is a friend of mine and I know his heart. Yet, even so, I continue to support his candidacy for attorney general because the hunger for power has hollowed out my soul and left me with no moral compass whatsoever. And I think I speak for all morally hollow ignoramuses when I stand before you with this atrocious nonsense pouring out of my mouth while even I look on with a kind of fascinated horror at how deeply I degrade myself when I sacrifice every other value to my political ambition.” 
Now some of you may be asking yourself, why would the Democrats, a political party whose members share margaritas with wife-beating gangsters, tell the police not to come to the aid of federal law officers when they’re under mob attack, unleash hate on a conservative leader after his children have been orphaned by an assassin’s bullet, and pour into the street to support a terrorist attack that killed more Jews than any attack since the holocaust — why would the members of such a party stand behind a candidate who dreams of shooting his political opponent in the head and wishes the man’s children would die in their mother’s arms?
And if you are asking yourself that question, you might want to tell the zookeeper to teach you a little more sign language.
 * * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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Rep. Abigail Spanberger (D-VA) campaigns as the Democratic nominee in the Virginia’s governor’s race.

Virginia AG Candidate Gives ‘I Have A Dream’ A Whole New Meaning

Virginia AG Candidate Gives “I Have A Dream” A Whole New Meaning

Attorney General

Murder

Scandals

U.S. Politics

Virginia

America is having a debate about political violence. Is it the fault of conservatives, or is it the fault of the side that wants to kill everyone who disagrees with them? This chin-scratcher of a conundrum has inspired people of good will from all over to come together with Democrats to try to find a solution.
For instance, in a recent discussion at Harvard University, left-wing students calmly and quietly presented their side of the issue, while right-wing students responded by screaming in terror as an angry mob chased them with pitchforks and torches. The come-together event was sponsored by the student group Kill All Fascists, with KAF President Vladimir Mohammed Jihad Alinsky telling the assembled rioters, “We must put an end to fascism by any means necessary. And some of you may ask, well, what do you mean when you say by any means necessary? And we must put an end to people who ask that by any means necessary. Because remember: silence is violence, so we must meet violence with violence until there’s silence, which is violence, which we must meet with violence, which is exactly like silence except you wear masks and beat people with metal rods. Remember: No justice, no peace. And injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. So no peace until there’s justice everywhere, which will never happen, so we can beat the hell out of people forever and still feel great about ourselves.”
After Alinsky’s speech, the leftist students gathered for a friendly barbecue, but it had to be called off because all the Jews had escaped.
The New York Times, a former newspaper, also contributed to the national conversation with a think piece by Times editor Hannah Lyin-Ass Jones, the author of the famous 1619 Conspiracy, which declares that the founding of America was really a plot to destroy the economy of Africa by buying up all their slaves so there was no one left to mine the vibranium. Ms. Lyin-Ass Jones wrote, “You have to understand what violence is. When a black drug addict dies while resisting arrest and we pretend that’s evidence of systemic racism in order to incite riots in over 150 cities where businesses, homes and entire neighborhoods are left in ashes and at least 25 people are killed, that’s not violence. We need a totally different word for that, like Flower-Sunshine-ism or Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude or Black-Lives-Matter — something that sounds really nice and heartwarming. Violence is when Charlie Kirk says that Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn’t have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice for no other reason than that she’s a black woman who doesn’t happen to have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice. That is hate, and hate is violence and violence must be met with Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude until everyone who disagrees with us is dead.” 
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
To get the conservative side of the argument, we visited an undisclosed location where half the staff of the Daily Wire is hiding under lockdown after receiving death threats from the pro-transgender group called “Say I’m A Woman or Die.” One staffer, who preferred to remain anonymous because he selfishly wants to live to be thirty, told us, “I’m sure with a magnifying glass and a spotlight you can find the occasional right-wing lunatic who wants to hurt someone, but that’s different from an entire leftist culture that demonizes disagreement as fascism so that over 50 percent of leftists believe it’s justifiable to…”
But at this point, the staffer was interrupted when a flaming arrow crashed through the window bearing a note from Say I’m A Woman or Die, that read, “Say I’m a Woman or Die!” The staffer angrily hurled the arrow back through the broken window and was immediately cited as an example of right-wing violence by The New York Times.
The incident was ridiculed that night by Jimmy Kimmel, whose courageous fight to ensure that every comedian on television has the same political opinion has won him the support of the Hollywood leftist group “Hate Donald Trump or Die!” The group issued a statement saying, “All right-wingers must be silenced and silence is violence, so it’s the right-wing that is violent because they’re silenced. Debate over.”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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This is What Democracy Looks Like

Democrats: If Silence Is Violence, We Must Meet Violence With Violence Until There’s Silence

Democrats

With the baby boomers dying off, many people ask me, &#8220;What is Gen Z like, and what does it mean for the future?&#8221; But with the baby boomers dying off, I don’t have time to answer — and anyway, what’s it to me?
However, there is a new poll out on how these Gen Z whippersnappers see things, and the results are very encouraging in the sense they’ll allow me to die happy in the knowledge that the rest of you are screwed.
The poll of around 3,000 respondents between the ages of 18 and 29 was specially designed to elicit information from young people by posing its questions in the form of emojis and inarticulate whining noises and then pretending to take the answers seriously. The results had a margin of error of 79%, because the young people had no clue what the hell they were talking about and then changed their minds when they found out what life was really like.
The young people were asked such questions as: What do you value most? Is America headed in the right direction? What the hell do you know, you nose-ringed freak? And why don’t you get a job and find your own place to live, you’re 20-years old already, for crying out loud? The respondents were then divided by gender using a buzz saw and a surgical needle threaded with fishing line. Then the genders were separated politically by riot police with tear gas and rubber bullets. Finally, the survivors sat around smoking weed until the women fell asleep and the men, of course, had sex with them.
The results of the poll show that among young men, the number one thing they valued most was having children. The number four thing they valued most was getting married. Numbers two and three were avoiding paying child support and using pig’s blood during a paternity test before changing their names and moving out of state.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1249-a-bend-in-the-arc-of-history?contentProgram=The%20Andrew%20Klavan%20Show&amp;contentType=ShowEpisode&amp;elementPosition=2&amp;location=Home%20Tab&amp;row=0&amp;rowType=Home%20Featured%20Carousel"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974735 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1024x171.jpg 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-300x50.jpg 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-768x128.jpg 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now-1536x256.jpg 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/Klavan-watch-now.jpg 1800w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
Among women, the number one thing they valued most was their jobs, the number two thing they valued was emotional stability and the number three thing they valued were anti-depressants. These women also valued making TikTok videos expressing completely nonsensical opinions in a smug voice while smiling like Anthony Perkins in the last frame of “Psycho,” and secretly wishing some guy would marry them and tell them what to do because they’re obviously out of their minds.
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The poll also revealed ingrained differences between young men and women when it came to political issues. For instance, 56% of young men feel that Donald Trump is doing an excellent job as president, while 82% of young women also have political opinions but nobody bothered to write them down because, let’s face it, who cares?
The biggest political divide between the genders was on immigration. Young women felt that it was a crying shame to deport an upstanding pillar of the community just because he had come here illegally, and had drunkenly crashed his car into an elementary school, then escaped before the police discovered the child tied up in his trunk. Young men didn’t answer the question because they were too busy watching cool videos of ICE agents slamming fat Mexicans into the sides of their jalopies while screaming the f-word.
One surprising result in the poll is that young people increasingly favor socialism. They listed their primary reasons as — one — they’d have a lot of time to play “Candy Crush” while they were standing in line to get a loaf of bread. Two, they’ve seen the mini-series “Chernobyl” and it looked really cool when people’s flesh started to melt like in a science fiction movie only real. And three, under socialism, there would be no corporations and everything would be free, so you could just pick up a new iPhone any time you wanted … wherever it is that iPhones come from.
All in all, the results of the poll demonstrated that Generation Z is called Generation Z for a good reason: namely, nothing comes after Z.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

People waiting in line to enter in a store – Social distancing concept

New Poll: Gen Z Likes Socialism, Willing To Wait In Line For Loaf Of Bread

Gen Z

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Socialism

President Trump became the first American president to be hosted at a second state visit to Great Britain this week. The President was greeted with a parade of British soldiers wearing dress red uniforms and marching in perfect unison while ragtag American soldiers popped up from behind rocks and trees and shot at them until they surrendered.
Trump and his wife Melania were given a lavish state dinner at Windsor Castle. Trump told the other guests that he was astounded by the beauty of the castle, and said it was absolutely amazing what you could do with Legos.
The dinner was attended by many British dignitaries including Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who gave a brief toast in which he pledged to continue lowering the British voting age until the electorate was ignorant enough to keep the Labour party in power. 
Also at the Dinner was Education Minister Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa, the founder of the Fatwa Pre-School for the Grooming of Naughty but Strangely Alluring Little White Girls. The Education Minister presented Trump with a ceremonial scimitar which, luckily, just missed when the president turned his head at the last minute to point at a chart showing just how many Islamists he plans to deport after meeting Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa.
The dinner was also attended by the mayors of several major British cities, including Mayor Fatwa Mohammed Mohammed Fatwa, the mayor of Birming-al-hambra, and, of course, the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa followed by several more Fatwas and Mohammeds.
The dinner began with a grace said by the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was then arrested for praying within 300 miles of an abortion clinic. Kemi Badenoch, the leader of Britain’s Conservative Party, called the arrest absurd, saying Britain was a Christian nation, after which she was arrested for violating the blasphemy laws. Keir Starmer explained that the U.K. absolutely has free speech but only as long as you talk silently to yourself and are not within 750 miles of an abortion clinic, where such talk could be mistaken for praying to the God of love and life, which would be offensive to the nation’s terrorists. Fortunately Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa did not hear Kemi Badenoch’s offensive remark because he was busy on the phone, arranging the sale of some of his pre-school students.
<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-large wp-image-974739 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1024x171.webp" alt="" width="1024" height="171" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1024x171.webp 1024w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-300x50.webp 300w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-768x128.webp 768w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-1536x256.webp 1536w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2025/09/d8cec229c8de40eca355910d6e114663-2048x341.webp 2048w" sizes=" (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a>
King Charles III then gave a speech, in which he spoke warmly of the special relationship between the U.S. and the U.K., saying that the two nations shared many values, although he couldn’t name them for fear of being arrested. President Trump then rose and also gave a speech, saying that Great Britain was one of his favorite places in the middle east, even though he’d gotten a much nicer present from Qatar, who gave him a jet, while the British only gave him some cheap oil painting of Winston Churchill, which was then confiscated for spreading imperialist ideas that were offensive to the Muslims who were conquering the country.
The affair ended with Princess Kate and Melania Trump trying to decide who was more glamorous with an arm wrestling match. Princess Kate managed to pin the First Lady, but Melania responded by taking off that gigantic circular hat she wears and spinning it at Kate as if it were Oddjob’s derby in &#8220;Goldfinger.&#8221; Fortunately for relations between the two nations, Kate managed to duck, and the hat sailed past her and beheaded Mohammed Fatwa Fatwa Mohammed Fatwa, who congratulated the First Lady on mastering the essentials of sharia law.
After the dinner, Trump accompanied Prime Minister Starmer on a tour of factories and businesses that Labour has destroyed by their socialist policies. Trump said he was delighted to make the state visit, but said next time he had to come to one of these crap-hole countries, he hoped it would be someplace like Haiti, so at least he could get some sun.
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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/After-That-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries/dp/1613166869/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3EGZUC370LG46&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Y_NI0mDOKeowShheDQTVx5NH-fAeimJoCD56_T0Acpl8C0mup7uJf-nGGSRLEItaaekoDnvS2vWLMa4Zd2UBXQ8Y-g-P502jOWz-Y8IX3ZQsdlO7WMLrg1xIhNoKmjCorSWUR4C2l_RbiZ7apJ1MfPzGOrrEf7AdAXX6xwnJRVP_XqUfWuMuVthTWscaU3P4vgmS86-96n-721enHfX12CFQWTajqFbVnrsDkexfUf4.6_gTH6h1Bb9Pn375QdF_VAVZSayDvjQBBKGXE-MTiFo&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=klavan&amp;qid=1754049918&amp;sprefix=%2Caps%2C80&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">After That, The Dark,</a> is now available for Pre-Order. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

UK Hosts President Trump And First Lady Melania Trump For State Visit – Day Two

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