Why Does Mamdani Remind Me Of Pennywise The Clown?

The New York Mayoral election is a few days away, and all across the city, New Yorkers are already preparing for a victory by Democrat Zohran Mamdani. Some prepare by using their laptops as kickboards and attempting to paddle across Long Island Sound to Connecticut. Others are staging re-enactments of the scene in The Ten Commandments where people gather their belongings and livestock and head into the wilderness for forty years rather than facing the future at home. More philosophical and reflective New Yorkers simply sit in the shadow of the noose they’ve hung from the ceiling heating pipes, weeping quietly into their Pumpkin Spiced Lattes.

Meanwhile, Mamdani continues his charisma-fueled campaign, with his face lit by a smile so charming it reminds supporters of Pennywise the Clown just before he entices a child into the sewer by offering him a red balloon.

In an appearance before a gathering of the American Federation of Islamist Terrorists Bent on Killing Everybody and Blaming Israel (the AFITBKEBI), Mamdani delivered his closing arguments to an enthusiastic crowd gaily decked out in brightly colored sticks of dynamite.

Mamdani said: “When I am mayor, there will be free buses powered by rainbow-colored unicorn farts and health care that will be paid for by taxing all the rich people who used to live here before they left so I wouldn’t be able to tax them. And there’ll be government grocery stores where the shelves will be packed with totally free luxury goods that you can almost see if you close your eyes and imagine very hard. And sure, I’ve claimed the police are oppressors funded by the Jews, and sure, I’ve said I want to seize the means of production just like the murderous tyrant Vladimir Lenin, and yes, I’ve supported terrorists and criminals who prey on the innocent, but those are just things I actually believe in. This is the time to forget all that and come into the sewer where I’ll give you a red balloon.”

The speech was broadly criticized by virulent Islamophobes and other groups opposed to being blown up and beheaded, but the people who were there greeted Mamdani’s words with explosive applause, or just explosives.

Some Democrats have hesitated to endorse Mamdani. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, for instance, can’t decide whether to press the big red button marked “I have no core beliefs so I’ll pretend to stand with the lunatic base,” or the identical red button marked “I have no core beliefs so I’ll pretend to reject extremism in case there are still some Democrats who aren’t total scumbags like myself.”

On the other hand, New York Governor Kathy Hochul has gone all in, endorsing Mamdani at the annual meeting of the Society for Evil Clowns who Entice Innocent Children into Sewers with Red Balloons, (or SECEICSRB). Governor Hochul said, “When people ask me why I endorse Zohran Mamdani for New York Mayor, I simply tell them: Look in my eyes. Do you see anything there but an endless darkness in which values and ethics are dissolved to nothing by the acid of my ambition and love of power? How could you, when my very soul is a portal into a living hell of desire for the empty simulacrum of love that is the vote of fools who are being enticed into a catastrophe of American-hating dysfunction by their own ignorance and envy which allow them to be charmed out of rational thought by a creepy smile and obvious lies. So vote for Mamdani! Otherwise I’ll just have to live with myself, which would be intolerable.”

Hochul’s speech was praised for its startling honesty by the editorial board of the New York Post, just before they headed downtown with backpacks full of gold bars in the hopes they could bribe their way through the Holland Tunnel and reach New Jersey.

But Mamdani continues to have the support of younger voters, like one 25-year-old who told reporters, “I love Mamdani because he reminds me of the golden days of my childhood, and that funny clown who hid in the sewer and offered me a red balloon. I can’t exactly remember what happened after that. But I guess we’re about to find out.”

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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, After That, The Dark, is NOW AVAILABLE. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan

The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.