The following is satirical.
To bring you up to date, here’s the latest on President Trump’s last press briefing.
Trump told the assembled journalists that he was now considering defunding the World Health Organization.
ABC’s Jon Karl asked, “You won’t be funding who?” and the president said, “That’s right,” and Karl said, “No, who?” and Trump said, “Yes, WHO,” and Karl said, “But who won’t you be funding?” and Trump said, “Exactly, WHO I won’t be funding,” and Karl said, “But I don’t understand who,” and Trump said, “What are you, some kind of idiot?” and Karl said, “Who are you calling an idiot,” and Trump said, “No, I’m calling you an idiot. I’m not funding who?” and Karl said, “Who?” and Trump said, “Which?” And Karl said “You’re not funding which? and Trump said, “No, who?” and Karl said, “You,” and Trump said, “What about me?” and Karl asked, “Who will you no longer be funding?” and Trump said, “I’m glad we finally got that straightened out.”
In five interviews with various news outlets after the exchange, Karl told Wolf Blitzer, Joe Scarborough, Xi Jinping, who was sitting in for Lester Holt, Don Lemon and a shadowy figure from Phoenix TV who suddenly vanished leaving only the faint smell of opium and 20-thousand dead Italians, that Trump had been rude and unreasonable in refusing to answer his question and was probably afraid Karl’s masterful journalism would uncover that the president had inflated the health benefits of an anti-malaria drug because he’d invested seventeen dollars in a mutual fund that included a company that manufactured mosquitoes.
Trump responded that Karl was an idiot who couldn’t even spell World Health Organization. Then the two men attacked each other and rolled around the floor in a cloud of dust with shoes and various other pieces of clothing flying into the air as they beat one another senseless.
Meanwhile, the economy crashed and all the government’s computer models turned out to be wrong, but no one remembered to ask about that.
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