Satire

When People Ask Me How To Be A Christian Online, Here’s What I Say

To be a good Christian, it’s essential that you marshal your will power to overcome your sense of humor.

Andrew Klavan
When People Ask Me How To Be A Christian Online, Here’s What I Say
DailyWire. Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images. Rawpixel, Getty Images.

You know, many people ask me to explain how to be a Christian. Well, not many people. Maybe, like, three or four. It’s hard to count them because they’re invisible. But whenever some lost soul begs me to point the way toward the light of God’s love, I always take time out of my busy schedule and say to them, “Of course. That’ll be twenty-five dollars.” A man’s gotta eat.

There are many misconceptions about the experience of Christian faith. Even an honest seeker can lose his way and begin to believe that Christianity is just a matter of establishing a relationship with a loving God who sacrificed his own son to win forgiveness for his sinful creation and wants nothing more from you but that you turn from your destructive desires and live into His image to find peace and joy and eternal life. But that’s absurd. It’s difficult and you miss all the fun.

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