Gossip blogger Perez Hilton is currently recovering in the hospital following an incident earlier this week in which he appeared to harm himself during a livestream. But before that happened, the 48-year-old single father of three sat down with Fox News’ Sean Hannity for an interview, discussing a variety of topics including his conversion to Christianity, his medical concerns, and his biggest professional regrets.
The conversation was published Thursday on the “Hang Out with Hannity” YouTube Page. The Fox News host added a disclaimer to the intro, confirming that he spoke with Hilton before the dramatic events of Tuesday evening.
Hilton talked about his faith journey, discussing how he was always “jealous” of believers during his own struggle to figure out the truth.
“I had been calling out to God for a while before this year,” Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, told Hannity. “I was always jealous of people that believed. I wanted to believe, and I didn’t … I was on a Christian podcast, and they asked me, ‘Do you believe in God?’ I said, ‘No, but I would like to.’ They were like, ‘What do you believe in?’ I said, ‘Oh, I believe in science. I believe in facts. But I’m jealous of people that believe.’”
“Now I believe,” he went on. “At first, there’s the honeymoon period of believing, and now it’s like, all right, I’m in the trenches, and having faith is hard. But it’s not a belief now — it’s a knowing. It’s still hard. Knowing that God is real requires work. I’m putting in the work. I’m reading the Bible. I am going to church and taking my kids with me to church. I am praying. I’m even learning how to pray.”
Hilton also talked about turning his life around professionally and having regret for the very thing that made him famous. The blogger made his name posting celebrity gossip with a heavy side of snarkiness, sharing rumors about A-listers. He’s already said he did it for attention and wished it could have been different.
“I mean, I have a lot of regrets,” Hilton said during the interview. “It’s hard to have people really accept this, but if you like attention, attention is like a drug. I was definitely an attention addict back then. I mean, I still am, but I think now I do a better job of keeping it in check.”
He said a turning point for him occurred in 2010 during a time when he recalls gay teenagers committing suicide. “There was this movement called It Gets Better, which is a very simple concept — making videos encouraging young people that it will get better.”
“I made a video, and the response I got to that really shook me to my core because I thought, ‘Oh, in this time of darkness, I’m doing something to spread light,'” he shared. “It wasn’t received that way. I said, ‘Wow, if this is how the masses view me, then I need to change because that’s not who I am in my heart.’ But it is who I had become. That was a big wake-up moment for me.”
He said it was “wrong” of him to comment on the bodies of celebrities and speculate on their sexuality. “I realized what I was doing was wrong. I realized I could still be fun, but I didn’t have to be so cheap, and I didn’t have to be so cruel. It was cruel. It’s something that I carry with me. It’s like my scarlet letter, and it’s very heavy baggage,” he said.
Hilton’s family released two updates on his status following the livestream incident, thanking fans for their prayers. The statement said they have, “been able to confirm that Perez is able to communicate, which has given our family hope.”
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