The decade's most triggering comedy
During a scandal, it’s never a good look when an organization’s defense can be summarized as, “We’re not corrupt, we’re incompetent!” Yet, that’s exactly where the Secret Service finds itself after concluding its cocaine investigation that yielded zero leads.
Somehow, in “the most secure building in the entire world,” with an annual budget of about $3 billion and roughly 8,000 employees, per fiscal 2023 levels, the Secret Service cannot figure out who left that baggie of booger sugar. Fingerprints are impossible to obtain for some reason and video footage is apparently inadequate. So, how it snowed in July in Washington, D.C. will remain a mystery.
At face value, if you trust the Secret Service — and more specifically the Biden administration — then the only conclusion is that they are incompetent.
Of course, the other viable explanation is that the Secret Service is covering up for somebody in the White House or somebody adjacent to the White House. That would mean that the public is being misled, to put it mildly.
What could a suspect look like?
Well — spitballing off the top of my head here — perhaps a suspect would look like the son of a high-ranking senior official in the White House, one with a habit of drug usage, leaving behind illicit items, and building a career based on staying in close proximity to his father and his public office.
And now for something totally unrelated to the previous sentence, here’s a video of Hunter Biden:
This video of Hunter Biden looking like he sniffed a bump of cocaine at the White House was taken w/in *days* of the Secret Service finding a bag of cocaine on the premises
Today the Secret Service announced there are no suspects
They think you’re stupidpic.twitter.com/Bt5hCT2ghf
— DC_Draino (@DC_Draino) July 13, 2023
By not providing a definitive answer, the White House is only allowing people to reach their own conclusions. In that case, they certainly aren’t doing suspect No. 1 in the court of public opinion any favors.
The best professional salesmen will tell you that a “no” is better than a “maybe.” All that a “maybe” really means is that the person you’re trying to sell something to thinks that you’re too nice of a guy to be turned down completely.
But in the government, when officials claim they can’t give a definitive “yes” or “no” on a certain situation, all that really means is that the government thinks you’re too stupid to figure it out for yourself. Either that or, in this instance, the White House knows it will not face any consequences for its duplicity. That would make it all even more egregious.
The views expressed in this piece are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.