The decade's most triggering comedy
The cosmic goddess that is Marianne Williamson, the former “Oprah” staple who pledged to defeat President Donald Trump on the battlefield of love, has now officially dropped her bid for the 2020 Democratic Party presidential nomination after several no-shows at the debates.
In an announcement on her website Friday, Williams said that she hoped her candidacy would lead the country in a new direction — a dream that she will have to rest aside due to lack of support.
“I ran for president to help forge another direction for our country,” her announcement stated. “I wanted to discuss things I felt needed to be discussed that otherwise were not. I feel that we have done that.”
“I stayed in the race to take advantage of every possible opportunity to share our message,” she continued. “With caucuses and primaries now about to begin, however, we will not be able to garner enough votes in the election to elevate our conversation any more than it is now. The primaries might be tightly contested among the top contenders, and I don’t want to get in the way of a progressive candidate winning any of them.”
Marianne Williamson made a huge splash at the first Democratic Party presidential debate, in which she vowed to harness the “power of love” to defeat Trump’s harnessing of the power of hate:
I’m sorry we haven’t talked more tonight about how we’re going to beat Donald Trump. I have an idea about Donald Trump: Donald Trump is not going to be beaten just by insider politics talk. He’s not going to be beaten just by somebody who has plans. He’s going to be beaten by somebody who has an idea what the man has done. This man has reached into the psyche of the American people and he has harnessed fear for political purposes.
So, Mr. President — if you’re listening — I want you to hear me please: You have harnessed fear for political purposes and only love can cast that out. So I, sir, I have a feeling you know what you’re doing. I’m going to harness love for political purposes. I will meet you on that field, and sir, love will win.
Williamson also lit up the internet with scores of memes during the first debate when she promised that her first move as president would be to call the Prime Minister of New Zealand as a challenge.
“My first call is to the prime minister of New Zealand, who said her goal was to make New Zealand the place where it’s the best place in the world for a child to grow up. And I will tell her, ‘Girlfriend, you are so on.’ Because the United States of America is going to be the best place in the world for a child to grow up,” she said to thunderous applause.
Though much of the mainstream dismissed her as a fringe candidate, some Democrats argued she may be the perfect embodiment of a left-wing Trump: An ultra-feminine, media-savvy outsider who appeals to the wellness mom voter bloc. Tessa Stuart of Rolling Stone described her as the “cosmic sorceress we need now.”
Williamson’s charisma became such an entertaining sensation that some Republicans even began donating to her campaign just to see her on the debate stage, which unfortunately did not persist. Her political ambitions will now live on only in our memories.