On Friday, YouTube comedy channel We The Internet uploaded a new sketch that portrays a world in which everyone gives into the whims of their children.
Mike walks into the office kitchen, and asks his co-worker sitting at a table: “Hey Bill, how was your weekend?”
Bill replies: “Just watched a lot of football. You?”
Mike proceeds to casually explain to his co-worker the new discovery he made over the weekend.
MIKE: Found out my son’s actually a girl.
BILL: What?
MIKE: Yeah. We’re all hanging out on the couch watching Netflix together, and Tommy turns to Sarah and me and says, “I’m a girl now.”
BILL: Wow.
MIKE: Yeah, I had no idea, but who am I to question my 3-year-old child, right?
The two then discuss Mike’s son’s new pronoun, which isn’t “her” or even “they,” but a fart sound. Mike’s son/daughter also isn’t going to begin kindergarten any time soon because he/she/fart sound said, “No school!”
“Also, we’re starting [fart sound] on hormone blockers next week, so we don’t really have a lot of free time,” Mike tells Bill.
While the scene began with shreds of reality firmly embedded in the story, given the ongoing and escalating child transgender issue in the news, it then blasts off to a whole new level when co-worker Steve walks in.
MIKE: You have a daughter, right?
STEVE: Yeah, my youngest is a girl.
MIKE: Any advice?
Steve replies that raising a girl is “a trip,” and that he just “found out” that his daughter doesn’t need the toilet anymore because, although she’s potty trained, she would rather just poop in her pants.
Then co-worker Martha runs in, and things get even crazier.
“Guys, my son’s an astronaut!” Martha exclaims.
The guys congratulate Martha, and she replies:
Thanks. It’s all happening so fast. Yesterday, I went into his room to wake him up from his nap, and I found him sitting on the edge of his bed with his Buzz Lightyear helmet on, screaming, “I’m an astronaut! I’m an astronaut!”
“What an accomplishment,” Mike says.
“So, what happens now?” Bill asks.
“We launch him into space,” Martha answers.
She then tells the guys that even though they haven’t yet heard back from NASA, her son claims “we go to the moons tomorrow!” so it must be happening.
But Bill has an accomplishment to share as well. His 10-month-old no longer wants to eat, so Bill simply doesn’t feed him.
“He doesn’t need to eat food. That’s so advanced!” Mike states excitedly.
Co-worker Todd then enters the room, despondent over his impending divorce. Apparently, his toddler Jimmy told his mother that he doesn’t like his father anymore. Thus, divorce.
“But what are we gonna do?! He just finished teething…he knows best,” Todd says.
Finally, a small child enters the room wearing a suit. He rebukes the employees for standing around and not working, claiming that he’s the boss. As the employees all scramble to get to work, and have the new “boss” approve and sign documents, a woman walks in, picks up the boy, and asks what they’re all doing.
They inform her that her son is the boss.
“He’s not your boss. He’s three years old. Idiots!” the woman says before exiting.
After a brief pause, Todd looks at the others, and says, “What a terrible parent.”