On Thursday, Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX) released what is possibly the most bad*ss campaign ad in history, called “Texas Reloaded,” as he and five fellow Texans running for Congress are featured in scenes reminiscent of “Mission: Impossible” with Crenshaw as the leader of a six-person team whose mission is to “save Texas.”
The beginning of the ad shows former Navy Seal Crenshaw sipping a cup of coffee at dawn in the “Crenshaw Command Center” before ripping open an envelope marked “Top Secret” and retrieving a smartphone. Taking off his eyepatch, which he wears in real life to cover a wound he received from an IED when he served in Afghanistan, a bright light shines from the eye to examine the phone, from which a woman’s voice emanates, saying, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to save Texas.”
“To do so, you must recruit an exceptional team of congressional candidates,” the voiceover continues as Crenshaw dons a parachute and army fatigues. Cut to Crenshaw on a plane preparing to jump as the voice states, “They must be courageous, patriotic, and absolutely fearless. Time is of the essence. The nation’s future is dependent upon your success.”
The next thing we know, Crenshaw is hurtling through the sky to finally land on earth and pay a visit to Wesley Hunt, candidate for the 7th congressional district and a former Apache helicopter pilot. “You still know how to fly one of these things?” Crenshaw asks Hunt, who’s sitting in the cockpit of a fighter plane. Hunt, smiling, replies, “Dan Crenshaw.” Crenshaw looks up at Hunt. “I’m putting a team together, Wesley. You in?”
Hunt lowers himself out of the plane, brandishing a cigar, asserting, “You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world, right?” As Crenshaw turns to leave, Hunt snags him: “Wait, wait. I think August is gonna wanna come, too.”
August Pfluger, candidate for the 11thcongressional district, former F-22 combat pilot, U.S. Air Force colonel, and National Security Council Advisor, slides out from under a nearby helicopter, saying, “You guys looking for a real pilot? Let me get cleaned up.”
As the three men walk along, Crenshaw turns to Pfluger: “You’re an F-22 pilot. What were you doing working under a helicopter?” Pfluger: “I have no idea what I was doing, but typically, Air Force’s fixing the Army’s problems.” Hunt to Crenshaw: “This guy, this guy. Dan. Bro. You could have just texted me, man.” Crenshaw: “It’s cooler to jump out of planes.”
Next stop: the helicopter takes the trio to visit Beth Van Duyne, candidate for the 24thcongressional district, former regional director for HUD and former mayor of Irving, Texas. Following that stop, a visit to Tony Gonzales, U.S. Navy Master Chief and candidate for the 23rdcongressional district.
Last stop: visiting Genevieve Collins, candidate for the 32nddistrict, who executes a take-down on a male opponent.
The screen flashes the chyron: “Team assembled. Awaiting Next Objective.”