As everyone knows, June is African-American Music Appreciation Month. It’s also National Safety Month and National Smile Month. And we can’t forget that it is ALS Awareness Month, Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month, Cataract Awareness Month, Hernia Awareness Month, Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month, National Aphasia Awareness Month, National Congenital Cytomegalovirus Awareness Month, National Scleroderma Awareness Month, and Scoliosis Awareness Month. But all of these holy observances must take a backseat to the most hallowed of them all: LGBT Pride Month.
Indeed, we have heard nary a word about congenital cytomegalovirus, despite this being a month of awareness about that illness, because every company, corporation, celebrity, and television channel has been tripping over itself to exclusively celebrate LGBT pride. Or, more specifically, LGBTTQQIAAP pride. That last part of the acronym must not be neglected, even as it rapidly grows, adding new letters by the day and threatening to take over the entire alphabet.
Sure, Microsoft, Facebook, Apple, IBM, YouTube, AT&T, Disney, Chevron, H&M, Adidas, Nike, Reebok, the MLB, Listerine, Levi’s, American Eagle, Calvin Klein, Express, Target, Michael Kors, etc., are all offering sacral gifts before the LGBT altar this month, but Budweiser, a company best known for its alcohol-flavored water, may have out-woked the competition. In a tweet thread, Budweiser unveiled a series of cups which commemorate not only the classic LGBT members — gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender — but also pay homage to some of the lesser known characters. There is a cup for genderfluid (no, not a cup that contains gender fluid), a cup for non-binary, a cup for intersex individuals, a cup for pansexual individuals, and a cup for those who are asexual, demisexual, and greysexual. Those last three deserve closer examination.
Budweiser explains that asexuals are those who have no sexual attraction to anybody. This is a category that includes approximately seven people on Earth. Demisexuals are those who are more likely to experience sexual attraction after they get to know someone. Another name for this group is “women.” There are about 3.5 billion of them. Greysexuals are people who are sometimes sexually attracted and sometimes not. Another name for this group is “literally everyone” and it includes literally everyone (except for the seven asexuals, I suppose). Apparently, there is not yet any label for those are sexually attracted all the time to everything. Omnisexual? Fullsexual? Perhaps there is no such thing as that type of person, but so what? There is no such thing as a genderfluid person but that doesn’t stop us from coming up with a label for them.
A question comes to mind: If gay people are systemically oppressed in this country, if they are in fact a persecuted minority, then why are all of the most powerful companies on Earth clawing out each other’s eyes in a competition to be the most pro-gay? And, even more confusingly, why are people so desperate to be included in this persecuted minority that they’re coming up with ridiculous labels for even the most normal sexual appetites? And how are gay people able to march through the streets of every major city, sometimes with cross-dressing children at the head of the parade, announcing their sexuality to the whole world — even if the world didn’t ask and doesn’t care — if they are so oppressed? I have never seen oppression that works like this.
Compare this situation to that faced by black Americans before the Civil Rights Era, or Jews in Nazi Germany. I do not think that the wealthiest and most powerful voices in either country were publicly sucking up to either group. I do not think that those who did not belong to either group in either country were clamoring to be included in it. LGBT folks will often appropriate the historical plight of both groups in an effort to paint themselves as victims, but the comparison does not do them any favors.
The LGBT acronym expands because everyone wants into the club. People do not join clubs because they want to be persecuted. People join clubs because of the benefits that membership will grant them. What are the benefits of being LGBT? Well, you get your own Budweiser cup, for one thing. And you also get vociferous admiration from almost every corner of society. Whether this is a good or bad situation is up to each individual to decide. Just don’t tell me that this is what persecution looks like. There is another “p” word that better describes it: Privilege.