Trump On Abraham Lincoln: Arrgghh.

In an interview with Bob Woodward of The Washington Post, Donald Trump hilariously offered convincing proof that he is not Someone With A Very Good Brain, as he calls himself, but instead, Someone Whose Last Serious Reading Was Finishing The Archie And Jughead Comics.

Searching for someone that Trump might have noticed in the five minutes of his life away from a mirror, Woodward asked the Trump Of Very Little Brain about someone he might have heard about.

Woodward asked: “And why did Lincoln succeed? Thought about that at all?”

Trump’s answer would have made a third-grader proud:

Well, I think Lincoln succeeded for numerous reasons. He was a man who was of great intelligence, which most presidents would be. But he was a man of great intelligence, but he was also a man who did something that was a very vital thing to do at that time. Ten years before or 20 years before, what he was doing would never have even been thought possible. So he did something that was a very important thing to do, and especially at that time. And Nixon failed, I think to a certain extent, because of his personality. You know? It was just that personality. Very severe, very exclusive. In other words, people couldn’t come in. And people didn’t like him. I mean, people didn’t like him.

Reaction on Twitter was riotous, including tweets like these:

In the wonderful musical, You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown, there’s a terrific ensemble number called Book Report. Trump would fit right in, (except for Linus, whom Trump wouldn’t understand at all.)

He’d probably be Lucy, desperately trying to come up with the requisite 100 words.