The following is satirical.
CNN commentators say they are baffled to learn that tens of thousands of people showed up for Donald Trump’s New Jersey rally yesterday even after elite journalists carefully explained to them that Trump supporters were stupid.
Don Lemon said he was absolutely mystified by the development. In a statement made to a corner of his studio he couldn’t find his way out of, Lemon said, “We just got through discussing in elaborate detail the fact that Trump supporters are idiots who don’t even know how to spell or use a map, and yet for some reason, these people are still lining up for days just to get a glimpse of the president. It’s as if they don’t even care what we think of them. But that can’t be it. After all, we’re CNN.”
At this point, Lemon had to discontinue his statement because the Fire Department had arrived to rescue him from the corner.
Political Consultant Rick Wilson also said he was baffled by the huge, enthusiastic turnout for Trump.
Wilson unburdened himself to an empty table in the CNN cafeteria where he was yet again eating lunch by himself, saying, “What do we have to do to convince these people to stay away from Trump? We imitated them with fake southern accents, but that didn’t work. We joked about what morons they were, but that didn’t do the trick either. We even called them funny names, and yet they seem to think they understand politics better than a man like me, who actually worked as a strategist for Evan McMullen’s presidential campaign. I tell you: as elite as I am, even I sometimes don’t understand these people.”
Trump supporters at the rally acknowledged that had they known that Don Lemon thought ill of them, they would of course have stayed home because of their deep respect for Don Lemon’s opinion and their abiding love for the insightful journalism and commentary they always expect from CNN — and if you’re stupid enough to believe that, you may actually be Don Lemon.
Related: Video Of CNN Mocking Trump Supporters Goes Viral; Trump Fires Back