The Hottest Pumpkin Spice Accessory Is Your New Jihadi Boyfriend

DW Opinion

The Hottest Pumpkin Spice Accessory Is Your New Jihadi Boyfriend

The ladies are trading their Lululemon leggings for new keffiyehs.

Ben Domenech

First, a few questions: Are you a single white woman in America in 2026? Is the only correct take on Lindsay Clancy the one you have adopted after scouring TikTok like the world’s greatest true-crime detective? Do you own one or more items of “Hot Girls For Zohran” flair?

Then this message is for you: This pumpkin spice season, don’t miss out on the must-have accessory of the season — your new jihad-adjacent boyfriend. He’s intense, he’s problematic, and his opinions on 9/11 are sure to anger all the relatives you hate the most over the holidays.

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