Social media platforms are introducing new rules to fight disinformation.
For instance from now on, when a verified email from Hunter Biden reveals that Hunter was receiving money from Chinese Communist tyrants and then sleeping with prostitutes while simultaneously stuffing bills of large denominations into Joe Biden’s pockets while Joe was still vice president, allegedly, Twitter will automatically translate the text of the email into Russian to indicate that this is disinformation and therefore incomprehensible to anyone who can’t read the Cyrillic alphabet.
Likewise, if a new video comes to light showing Joe Biden walking around in circles singing “Show Me the Way to Go Home,” while wearing a paper hat with the words “Tippecanoe and Tyler too,” scrawled on it in blue crayon, Facebook will helpfully replace that video with a video of Brain Stelter walking around in circles making up reasonable explanations for why Joe Biden was walking around in circles.
From now on, when you search for the words “Joe Biden is corrupt and has dementia,” Google will reply by telling you the chief export of Bolivia, which is tin, or possibly the population of Venezuela, which is also tin, since all the real people starved to death because of socialism.
When you search for the word socialism, Google will reply with a picture of happy children laughing in a beautiful green field, also made of tin.
Finally, if by some extraordinary effort of will, you drive down to the newsstand and buy a copy of a printed newspaper from 1988, and thus manage to discover that Joe Biden has always been corrupt and indeed so stupid that the difference between his normal state and dementia is almost impossible to discern, Jack Dorsey will come to your house in person and wrestle the paper out of your hands, screaming, “Stop reading this, so we can have globalism and I can get even richer than I am today while you starve!”
After the election next Tuesday, everything will of course return to normal.
More satire from Andrew Klavan: Biden Reassures His Imaginary Supporters That Ball Of Fire Hovering Over His House Should Sink Into Pacific By Nightfall