Scientists Discover A Magic Diet Pill That Will Make Fat People Miserable
Peter Dazeley. Getty Images.

Opinion

Scientists Discover A Magic Diet Pill That Will Make Fat People Miserable

Michael Knowles

Gluttons everywhere can belch a sigh of relief as scientists raise the prospect of having one’s cake and eating it too. Researchers at the University of Texas have announced trials of a new drug called CPACC, which has proven to stave off weight gain in mice no matter how much they stuff their fat little rodent faces. The drug works by inhibiting the flow of magnesium through the mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell. Excess magnesium seems to slow the mitochondria’s ability to burn calories. By mimicking the deletion of the protein-coding gene that controls the flow of magnesium, the drug effectively increases the body’s metabolism. Clinical trials in humans could begin soon.

Much as this dazzling scientific feat might tantalize obdurate butterballs, one doubts how much people really stand to benefit from Rube Goldberg alchemy when they could achieve the same end by simply abstaining from cupcakes. Obesity weighs on certain psyches more than others, and people struggle to develop the discipline to avoid gluttony. But a magic pill will never solve the problem of obesity because obesity is only the outward symptom of a deeper problem.

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