Satire

New Poll Finds People With Nose Rings Love Socialism

Young Americans and other ignoramuses seem to be moving to the political Left.

Andrew Klavan
New Poll Finds People With Nose Rings Love Socialism
Maskot. Getty Images.

Young Americans and other ignoramuses seem to be moving to the political Left. A new poll shows that 62% of Americans aged 18 to 29 now hold a favorable view of socialism — and the percentage is even higher among 18- to 29-year-olds who wear rings in their noses because they couldn’t locate their ears.

In on-the-street interviews with young people or just people with enough tattoos to qualify as glitches in the evolutionary progress of humankind, the subjects interviewed gave various reasons for their leftward shift.

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