The decade's most triggering comedy
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson laid into President Joe Biden’s administration on Saturday, mocking the White House over the recent discovery of cocaine near the Situation Room — and the subsequent “failure” to find the culprit.
Carlson appeared to deliver the remarks off the cuff, responding from the stage at Turning Point USA’s Action Conference in Florida when someone in the audience shouted, “coke in the White House!”
Tucker having a blast at Turning Point Action conference talking about the cocaine found at the White House: "So if I could give you one piece of advice, after 27 years in the television business, don't trust a man with numb gums." pic.twitter.com/kKhjAAjC5n
— Julio Rosas (@Julio_Rosas11) July 15, 2023
“Coke in the White House!” someone shouted from the audience.
“What did you say?” Carlson asked.
“I said coke in the White House!” the person repeated.
“I don’t know what — you know what — the thing about that story, it’s just a mystery to me,” Carlson began sarcastically, prompting laughter from the crowd. “No one was more shocked than I was. Are you serious? In the Biden White House, somebody left an eight-ball of cocaine in a public … I was like, I said to my wife, ‘That’s just not in character. You know? I just don’t believe it.'”
Carlson continued in that same vein, pausing occasionally as the crowd continued to laugh. “It’s clearly a set-up. I went right back to Marion Berry, I was like, ‘Somebody set you up.’ I’m serious. It was – you know what I mean, it was –” and then Carlson, apparently struggling to keep a straight face, laughed himself. “Can I just —? I’ll stop. That was my favorite story of all time, because it just explains all the behavior. It really does.”
The former “Tucker Carlson Tonight” host went on to suggest that some of the policies coming out of the Biden administration would only make sense to someone who was high.
“It’s like … crazed and grandiose,” Carlson explained, opening his eyes wide for effect. “I’ve got a plan. YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT! It’s unbelievable, it’s going to totally work. What we’re going to do –”
And here, Carlson paused several times, mid-sentence, to wipe his face.
“We’re gonna totally rearrange everything, okay?” he continued. “We’ve been doing things a certain way for a long time, okay? And it’s worked, but I’ve got a better plan!”
“And that’s their entire approach,” Carlson said, laughing. “So if I could just give you one piece of advice, after 27 years in the television business, don’t trust a man with numb gums.”