The following is satirical.
With no hostility toward transgender people, I’ve always maintained that, in point of fact, a man cannot become a woman. Over the weekend, CNN’s Brian Stelter proved me wrong.
Stelter wrote that he missed the deadline for his newsletter because, “I crawled in bed and cried for our pre-pandemic lives. I think those tears had been waiting a month to escape. I wanted to share this with you because it feels freeing to do so.”
I don’t mean to insult women by comparing them to Brian Stelter. But it’s fair to say women generally experience life more emotionally than men do. Somehow, this works when they do it. It contributes to their womanly wisdom and compassion. Also they look great, and a lot of them will make you dinner so you don’t have to send out or starve to death, which would be the only other options.
But when Stelter misses a deadline in order to crawl into bed for a good cry, I can’t help thinking about other men who dealt with crises in the past.
For instance, William Travis, one of about 250 Texans who died at the Alamo battling 2000 Mexican soldiers. Travis wrote a letter addressed “To all Americans,” which said, “I was determined to… die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor and that of his country, but instead I crawled into bed and cried for our pre-Alamo lives, and I wanted to share this with you.”
Or there was General Patton, who addressed the troops preparing to take Europe back from the Nazi war machine, saying, “No dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, he won it by crawling into bed and crying for our pre-World War II Lives, and then sharing that.”
I’m not saying that Stelter’s behavior made him unworthy to call himself a journalist or an American or a man. I’m just thinking it. Silently. If you listen, you can almost hear me.
More satire from Andrew Klavan: Times Explains Why Biden Is Not As Bad As Kavanaugh Even Though He Killed A Hooker And Is Now In A Shootout With Police