Satire

Legacy Media Shocked To Discover That Jake Tapper Lied About Everything

Jake Tapper told Jake Tapper, “I was absolutely shocked at the depth of my duplicity."

Andrew Klavan
Legacy Media Shocked To Discover That Jake Tapper Lied About Everything
Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Warner Bros. Discovery

The news media and the Democrats — but I repeat myself — are reeling after the release of Jake Tapper’s new book, “Oh My God, I Lied About Everything!” The book is the result of Tapper’s eight-month investigation into Jake Tapper during which Tapper discovered that almost every word out of Tapper’s mouth has been entirely untrue.

Tapper says the break in his investigation came after he managed to isolate Tapper in an interrogation room under a bright light where he continually slapped him, shouting “Confess, you two-faced bastard,” until Tapper broke under the brutal questioning and confessed to Tapper that he’d been deceiving the public for years.

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