The following is satirical.
A neuroscientist believes he has found the reason conservative men don’t like Socialist Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I wish I were making this up, but I’m not. According to the Huffington Post, neuroscientist Bobby Azarian says that his deep and profound studies, completely unaffected by his own prejudices, have revealed an indisputable fact that’s all, like, scientific and stuff, namely that conservative men respond to fear more strongly than liberals do, and they therefore fear Ocasio-Cortez because — I am quoting the Huffington Post now — “as a young, Latina, working-class woman, she threatens to upend the social order that has kept white men in the ruling class for centuries.”
Now, here at The Daily Wire we also have a team of absurd scientists whose ridiculously biased studies can be taken out of context, and so I decided to consult with our own Dr. Hapless von Nudnick to see if he had any theories about why conservatives would fear a congresswoman who wants to raise taxes as high as 70 percent to fund a government takeover of our economic system.
According to Dr. von Nudnick’s research, Miss Ocasio-Cortez possesses three qualities that combine to disturb the delicate minds of conservative men. 1) She’s stupid. 2) She’s a Socialist. And 3) she has a great rack.
In his paper published in the peer-reviewed journal Gibberish, Dr. von Nudnick writes, “For most men, a stupid woman with a really attractive pair of breasts is exactly what they’re looking for. Evolutionarily speaking, without stupid, shapely women, mankind wouldn’t reproduce at all because if they weren’t stupid, they wouldn’t sleep with us, and if they weren’t shapely, we couldn’t be bothered. So when men see a stupid, shapely woman, all their positive lights start flashing. Then, when they suddenly find out she’s a Socialist who wants to destroy the country, it ruins everything and, thus, the conservative men become confused.”
So there you have it. Through the wonder of science, we’ve finally gotten to the bottom of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Which is also rather nice. For a Socialist.