Klavan Reveals The True Meaning Of Christmas

The following is the opening satirical monologue from “The Andrew Klavan Show.“

Well, it’s Christmas, and you know what that means, and neither do I. This is the day when God came into the world to tell us to stop judging and to forgive one another, which of course we have absolutely no intention of doing, so we better buy a lot of presents and maybe that’ll get us off the hook. Also, we can gather around the television and watch “A Christmas Carol” in which Scrooge learns to love his neighbors and give his money away, and that always brings a tear to our eyes because we’re not going to do that either. For one thing, my neighbor’s a jackass, plus it’s my damn money, so stop bothering me, I’m trying to watch “A Christmas Carol.”