The following is satirical.
American journalists and other pitiful misuses of the miracle of human life are engaged in searching what archaeologists say may once have been their souls in the wake of Michael Avenatti’s conviction on charges of fraud and extortion.
The lawyer Avenatti had made frequent appearances on CNN, MSNBC and other mainstream news outlets despite some early hints that he was sleazy and dishonest, like his frequent appearances on CNN, MSNBC and other mainstream news outlets.
CNN’s Brian Stelter, who calls his show “Reliable Sources” with a straight face, says he can’t understand how he got it so wrong. Addressing the CNN audience as the audience was about to board his flight to Tacoma, Stelter said, “I ask myself if perhaps my flagrant bias in favor of Democrats combined with my deceptive presentation of myself as objective had left me so dishonest and corrupt that I had to admire Avenatti’s dishonesty and corruption lest I be forced to confront my own. But then I think, ‘Nah, it was probably something else.’”
Commentator Ana Navarro who, speaking on ABC, once compared Avenatti to the Holy Spirit, said she now feels the comparison may not have been a hundred percent accurate. The 1980’s immigrant from Nicaragua issued a statement in her native Communist, saying, “There were, in fact, many similarities between Avenatti and the Third Person of the Trinity. For instance, the Holy Spirit is the Lord and Giver of Life who proceeds from the Father and the Son, and Avenatti rips off strippers before extorting sneaker companies while swindling his clients. So it was an easy mistake to make.”
Legal Analyst Jeffrey Toobin says he felt “snookered” by Avenatti, because Avenatti pretended to be a corrupt lowlife but turned out to be an incredibly corrupt lowlife and Toobin fell for it hook, line and sinker.
All the leftist journalists said they would continue to examine their consciences for another hour or so, and then go back to doing exactly what they were doing before.
Related: WATCH: A Look Back At All The Media Praise For Michael Avenatti