I’m A Beige Mom. Get Over It.

I know writing this is going to generate some not-so-nice comments, so let’s just get it out of the way: I’m a beige mom. I do not want my house covered in fire-engine red, electric blue, highlighter yellow, and that particular shade of green apparently reserved exclusively for children’s plastic toys. I don’t understand why becoming a mother was supposed to mean surrendering every room of my house to something that looks like a preschool classroom circa 1997. And before anyone starts typing furiously: My children are fine. Actually, they’re more than fine. They’re spoiled rotten.

I’m a mom of two: a four-year-old girl and an almost three-month-old baby. We have toys. So many toys. We have colorful toys, too. I simply don’t want every single thing my children touch to look like a rainbow threw up on it. Which is why I have a bone to pick with Little Tikes.