I Was An Abortionist. What I Saw Turned Me Into A Lifelong Pro-Life Activist

When people learn, they change.


I knew since high school that I wanted to go into medicine. I wanted to help and heal people. In 1966, I graduated from the University of Tennessee Memphis. I did my residency training at the Mayo Clinic, with an externship in Chicago at Cook County Hospital. That is where I learned about abortion. 

One of the rotations I did was on the Infected OB ward. I was in charge of the women coming in from the emergency room after incomplete abortions from the back-alley mills in the city. I would stabilize them, start IVs, give blood, and administer antibiotics. The next morning, I took them to a treatment room to do a Suction D&C (dilation and curettage), to scrape out whatever tissue the abortionist had left inside. At that time, I became outraged. That’s when I decided to try to help women by offering safe abortions. What I didn’t realize at that time was that abortions are never safe for the woman or her child.

At this point in my life, I was 27 and religiously agnostic. Then, in 1975, two years after Roe v. Wade mandated legal abortion nationwide, I moved to Mississippi. I was married and had three little boys. There were very few women OBGYNs at the time, and when I started teaching at the University of Mississippi medical center, I was approached by the organizers of the first freestanding abortion clinic in the state. They had everything lined up and needed a physician to be the abortionist. In the Fall of 1975, I opened up Family Health Services in Jackson, Mississippi.

Just one year into my time at the clinic, I had a crisis. My marriage wasn’t going well, depression had set in, and I even had thoughts of suicide. In my search for answers, I found the book “The Power of Positive Thinking,” and through reading it, I also found Christ. Although I continued to commit abortions for the next two years, I noticed that I was having more difficulty going to the clinic–something didn’t feel right anymore. 

The last abortion I ever did was a 12-week suction D&C. After this type of procedure, I would have my patient remain on the table while I took the cloth trap from the suction bottle to the sink. That’s where I would pick through the parts that I had suctioned out – two arms, two legs, etc. This was to ensure I had successfully completed the abortion. That particular day, one of the workers asked if she could join me at the sink so she could learn more about the procedure.  

When I showed her, this terrible sadness came over me. For the first time, I saw a little boy. At 12 weeks old, we could see his perfectly formed little arm and tiny bicep. At that moment, I had a flashback; I could imagine my own son in my mind, with the same little arm, flexing his bicep, smiling at me. 

Zing. That’s how it felt. I shook myself. Five minutes ago, this was a perfectly beautiful little boy, and now he was in pieces. I never committed another abortion.

I resigned in the fall of 1978. 

Two years later, a statewide pro-life group in Mississippi was being organized, and I was invited to a lunch meeting. They wanted to gather pro-life professionals, especially in the medical and legal fields to help. When they found out I was a former abortionist, they encouraged me to begin speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement. I have spent the rest of my life fighting to end abortion. 

I first heard of Lila Rose when she started her undercover investigations. Now, I’m honored to be a part of Live Action’s “What Is Abortion?” video series, where former abortionists, like myself, share the truth about what really happens during an abortion.

Recognizing the humanity of the preborn child is what ultimately got me out of this awful industry. I knew it, but I never truly saw it, until it just clicked. I saw that little boy, who could have grown up to be just like my beautiful son.

As we come upon the potential reversal of Roe v. Wade, with the Supreme Court’s decision on Dobbs v. Jackson to release soon, I’m committed more than ever to sharing the truth about abortion. Although overturning Roe is necessary, it’s not what’s going to end abortion. It is convincing one person at a time that will finally end this national tragedy.

That’s what these videos can do. When people learn, they change.

Dr. Beverly McMillan is an Obstetrics & Gynecology Specialist in Jackson, MS, with over 56 years of experience in the medical field. She is a vocal pro-life advocate.

The views expressed in this piece are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire. 

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