Well, it’s Oscar season again, that time of year when Hollywood honors those amazing films that bravely went on playing in theaters, even though no one was sitting there except Nicole Kidman, desperately trying to move her face. For myself, I couldn’t look forward to the award ceremony more. I really couldn’t. I’ve tried everything. But before you know it, that spectacular gala will be preempting something you actually wanted to watch, so some of you may be thinking… “Sure, if I watch the award ceremony, there’s no doubt I’ll be riveted to my TV, because obviously, if I weren’t, I’d just walk away and do something else. But what I’m really wondering is what’s the inside skinny on how you win this coveted award.” So just in case you’re one of the sad little people whose life is so empty that you would actually think something as pathetic as that, the Daily Wire will now take you behind the scenes for an exclusive look at what it takes to win the Oscar.
If you want to walk away with gold on Oscar night, you can’t just stand around waiting for someone to watch your movie because, let’s face it, that’s never going to happen. What you have to do is draw attention to yourself by giving interviews in which you express political opinions that are shockingly different from those of someone with even a minimal knowledge of world events. At the same time, of course, it’s important that your shockingly different opinion is exactly the same as everyone else’s opinion in Hollywood, otherwise you can kiss that statuette goodbye.
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