The following is satirical.
Hillary Clinton says she will not endorse any of the Democrat candidates for president because she doesn’t want to interfere when at any moment there could be a popular uprising and she might be called to rush in and save the day at the last minute and be elevated to the presidency where all her dreams would come true and she would finally experience joy instead of this gnawing sense of bitterness and waste.
Mrs. Clinton made her remarks at the Berlin Film Festival where they were screening her new 720-hour autobiographical film, entitled, “You Think Your Life is Crap!”
For the occasion, the film has been redubbed in German and now features Mrs. Clinton’s calls for the German people to arise and fulfill their destiny by elevating her to power regardless of the law as they have done with leaders in their glorious past.
Mrs. Clinton said, “I don’t want to jump the gun and endorse some other candidate before the people have a chance to realize what a mistake they made last time. You never know when I could be walking down the street or collapsed on the floor of a hotel room or lying under the table in a bar and suddenly find myself surrounded by a tremendous surge of humanity crying my name and demanding that I be made president by general acclimation. Then I would be carried on their shoulders to Pennsylvania Avenue and installed by force in the Oval Office where my benevolent reign would finally begin and last until I woke up alone and started sobbing again as usual.”
The Hillary documentary has already been shown at Cannes where it created long lines because the exits were too small for everyone to leave at once.
In Berlin, the film evoked puzzled reactions as many local viewers could not understand why Americans failed to elect a dowdy, grim-faced woman who would destroy the country with her lousy policies when that has worked out so well for Germany.
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