Hillary Clinton Says Opportunistic Alleged Woman Abuser Biden Is Just The Kind Of Guy She Goes For [Satire]

The following is satirical.

Hillary Clinton has endorsed Joe Biden for president. The woman who came this close to winning the presidency herself after a lifetime of sacrificing her principles, her reputation, her personal happiness and indeed her immortal soul to win that high office, and then fell just short so that she was plunged into a whirlpooling inner darkness of endless excuses and recriminations disguising an all-consuming personal hell of self-blame while she tried to ignore the specter of a wasted and essentially empty life in which she traded away the things that really matter for a grasp at ephemeral power and always-elusive fame…