Happy Valentine’s Day 2019.
It’s different this time around. Forget love. This year, you can use Valentine’s Day to get back at your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
A wildlife center in Oregon is offering a special deal to the vengeful and vindictive. For $20, the center will put your ex’s name on a salmon — then feed it to a giant bear, who will promptly rip its head off and devour it.
“Let our 1000 pound brown bears tear into your ex…” writes the Wildlife Images Rehabilitation and Education Center about the program, named “Catch and Release.”
“Did you fall hook, line, and sinker for someone who broke your heart? Kodi & Yak would love to help you get your revenge! In exchange for your $20.00 donation your ex’s name will be on a salmon and served up for dinner. We’ll provide you with a special certificate, and photos of Kodi and Yak destroying your ex!”
But the center will also feed a fish to a bear for a loved one.
“Have you found a keeper?! Send them some extra love and support a healthy diet for our brown bears by providing a salmon in your sweetheart’s honor! In exchange for your $20.00 donation we’ll provide you with a special certificate, and photos of Kodi and Yak enjoying your salmon!” the center writes.
Meanwhile, the El Paso Zoo is getting in on the vengeance act, too. The zoo will name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to a meerkat live on camera.
“What’s the perfect Valentine’s Day gift? Naming a cockroach after your ex, of course! Message us your ex’s name and we’ll name a cockroach after them! We’ll post names (First and last name initial!) starting February 11 here on Facebook! Watch on Facebook Live or on our website’s Meerkat webcam on Valentine’s Day at 2:15 pm to see them devour these little bugs!”
The event is called the “Quit Bugging Me” meerkat event, and you can watch on the zoo’s website.
“This is a fun way to get the community involved in our daily enrichment activities,” El Paso Zoo event coordinator Sarah Borrego told CBS News. “The meerkats love to get cockroaches as a snack and what better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than by feeding them a cockroach named after your ex!”
Some people were delighted with the zoo’s program.
“This made me laugh so hard! I just got dumped via text message by my boyfriend of 4 years while I am battling cancer. He said it was because I wasn’t making our relationship a priority… um… I am currently focused on saving my life,” wrote Deb Song.
“If you find one that keeps going in circles and coming back to the same place kind of like a stalker roach I want my ex on that one,” wrote Mari Pimentel.
“My husband ran around behind my back for months, then handed me divorce papers the night I brought my mom home from the hospital where she nearly died. Please name as many cockroaches as you can for my soon to be ex-husband,” wrote Patricia Minarck Oliver.
Across the world in Australia, a zoo is offering people the chance to name a venomous snake after an ex-partner. “Is your ex a snake? If so, now is your opportunity to cement their ‘snaky status’ this Valentine’s Day by naming a brown snake (one of the world’s most venomous snakes) after them at WILD LIFE Sydney Zoo!” the zoo wrote on its Facebook page.
That one only cost $1. Ain’t vengeance grand?