Satire

Hanging With President ‘Big Guy’ And His National Intelligence Leaders

Andrew Klavan
Hanging With President ‘Big Guy’ And His National Intelligence Leaders
Nathan Howard/Sipa/Bloomberg via Getty Images

The Daily Wire has exclusively obtained a newsletter from the office of Joe Biden’s National intelligence director. Joe Biden, or as he’s sometimes called “The Big Guy,” is, of course, the rhododendron currently running the free world on behalf of the Chinese, which is only fair since they’ve paid him a bundle in bribes. His Director of National Intelligence is Avril Haines, whose pronouns are “wang tsi co mao soy fang fang chu” and who served under CIA Director John Brennan, a communist, when the president was Barack Obama, an anti-American globalist.

But not to worry, during her confirmation hearing, DNI Fang Fang reassured congress there were only some areas where she wanted to co-operate with the Chinese, like in collecting The Big Guy’s money and depositing it in one of his twenty shell companies so he has plausible deniability while he’s handing our border to Mexican cartels, who kill Americans with fentanyl, then launder their profits with the Chinese mafia inside the U.S.

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