Experts Say Democrat Campaign May Continue Until Trump’s Re-Election [Satire]

The following is satirical.

Democrat presidential candidates have descended on Iowa, increasing the population there by 22 percent. As the candidates try to act like normal Americans by grilling corn dogs on a flaming flag or staging sack races with people who were sacked during the Obama economy, voters are trying to choose whether to hear the stump speeches or just jab a screwdriver repeatedly into their ears to see if that’s less painful.