The media and other Democrats say reports of Hunter Biden’s massive corruption are nowhere near as bad as that time Donald Trump did nothing wrong.
The charges against Hunter were detailed in a congressional report which was issued in the form of a poster-size photograph of Hunter under the words, “Have you seen this man?”
The report says Hunter received a $3.5 million wire transfer from Elena Baturina, a Russian who became rich after receiving lucrative contracts from the city of Moscow, where her husband was mayor.
Democrats say there’s nothing to see here because it was the sort of payment anyone might receive from a deeply corrupt Russian businesswoman in return for absolutely nothing.
The report also says Hunter paid large amounts of money to what “appears to be an Eastern European prostitution or human trafficking ring.”
But Democrats say there’s nothing to see here because Hunter probably needed a massage after carrying around all that heavy money from Elena Baturina.
The report says further that Hunter made more millions as a consultant to the energy company Burisma even though he had no expertise in the field.
But Democrats say there’s nothing to see here because they’ve ripped out their eyeballs and set them on fire so there’s literally nothing they can see.
Even officials within the Obama administration were concerned that Hunter’s behavior while his father was Vice President might have created the impression that the Bidens were running a corrupt scam out of the White House, but Democrats say there’s nothing to see here because skiddleewink shaban do-do kragnatz.
Reporters immediately gathered around Joe Biden’s basement to ask the candidate such tough questions as “What does it say about Donald Trump’s soul, that after killing thousands of people by giving them coronavirus, he has the gall to accuse your beloved son of some sort of wrongdoing just because he made millions off corrupt Russian and Ukranian officials while you were VP?”
Biden responded, “Come on, man. Here’s the deal,” and Democrats say that clears up everything.
More satire from Andrew Klavan: New Book Claims Biden’s Word Salads Are Really Coded Cries For Help