Democrats: If Silence Is Violence, We Must Meet Violence With Violence Until There’s Silence

America is having a debate about political violence. Is it the fault of conservatives, or is it the fault of the side that wants to kill everyone who disagrees with them? This chin-scratcher of a conundrum has inspired people of good will from all over to come together with Democrats to try to find a solution.

For instance, in a recent discussion at Harvard University, left-wing students calmly and quietly presented their side of the issue, while right-wing students responded by screaming in terror as an angry mob chased them with pitchforks and torches. The come-together event was sponsored by the student group Kill All Fascists, with KAF President Vladimir Mohammed Jihad Alinsky telling the assembled rioters, “We must put an end to fascism by any means necessary. And some of you may ask, well, what do you mean when you say by any means necessary? And we must put an end to people who ask that by any means necessary. Because remember: silence is violence, so we must meet violence with violence until there’s silence, which is violence, which we must meet with violence, which is exactly like silence except you wear masks and beat people with metal rods. Remember: No justice, no peace. And injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. So no peace until there’s justice everywhere, which will never happen, so we can beat the hell out of people forever and still feel great about ourselves.”

After Alinsky’s speech, the leftist students gathered for a friendly barbecue, but it had to be called off because all the Jews had escaped.

The New York Times, a former newspaper, also contributed to the national conversation with a think piece by Times editor Hannah Lyin-Ass Jones, the author of the famous 1619 Conspiracy, which declares that the founding of America was really a plot to destroy the economy of Africa by buying up all their slaves so there was no one left to mine the vibranium. Ms. Lyin-Ass Jones wrote, “You have to understand what violence is. When a black drug addict dies while resisting arrest and we pretend that’s evidence of systemic racism in order to incite riots in over 150 cities where businesses, homes and entire neighborhoods are left in ashes and at least 25 people are killed, that’s not violence. We need a totally different word for that, like Flower-Sunshine-ism or Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude or Black-Lives-Matter — something that sounds really nice and heartwarming. Violence is when Charlie Kirk says that Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn’t have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice for no other reason than that she’s a black woman who doesn’t happen to have the brain power to be a Supreme Court justice. That is hate, and hate is violence and violence must be met with Skittery-Doodle-Happy-Time-atude until everyone who disagrees with us is dead.” 

To get the conservative side of the argument, we visited an undisclosed location where half the staff of the Daily Wire is hiding under lockdown after receiving death threats from the pro-transgender group called “Say I’m A Woman or Die.” One staffer, who preferred to remain anonymous because he selfishly wants to live to be thirty, told us, “I’m sure with a magnifying glass and a spotlight you can find the occasional right-wing lunatic who wants to hurt someone, but that’s different from an entire leftist culture that demonizes disagreement as fascism so that over 50 percent of leftists believe it’s justifiable to…”

But at this point, the staffer was interrupted when a flaming arrow crashed through the window bearing a note from Say I’m A Woman or Die, that read, “Say I’m a Woman or Die!” The staffer angrily hurled the arrow back through the broken window and was immediately cited as an example of right-wing violence by The New York Times.

The incident was ridiculed that night by Jimmy Kimmel, whose courageous fight to ensure that every comedian on television has the same political opinion has won him the support of the Hollywood leftist group “Hate Donald Trump or Die!” The group issued a statement saying, “All right-wingers must be silenced and silence is violence, so it’s the right-wing that is violent because they’re silenced. Debate over.”

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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”

Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fifth installment, After That, The Dark, is now available. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan

The views expressed in this satirical piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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