The following is satirical.
Journalists across the country have been writing editorials in support of impeachment, which poses the serious danger to Donald Trump that someone might read one of them.
The New York Times, a former newspaper, published an attention-grabbing and emotionally powerful ad for a luxury hotel in Key West that really did look lovely. But on another page, there was some soporific call for the president to be brought down.
Times editor-in-chief Blithering Prevarication the Third, wrote, “Donald Trump poses an urgent danger to this country by doing whatever it is they’re claiming he’s done now. Never before has a president used government resources to investigate the campaign of an opposition candidate and if he’s not stopped he might soon be using dishonest means to get warrants to spy on American citizens — which is absolutely unheard of, at least by anyone who gets their news from this paper. Trump presents a threat to western civilization as we know it, which is as a racist, imperialist destroyer of innocent indigent people who were just going about their business enslaving and killing one another until we showed up and ruined everything.”
Television journalists are also weighing in. Wolf Blitzer, in a commentary delivered to the CNN audience, who was rushing to catch his connecting flight to Baton Rouge, said, “This historic impeachment is so historically historical that it’s even historic how historic it is. Clearly, this is the beginning of the end of the walls closing in on the tipping point of whatever it was I was talking about.”
The Washington Post, where Democracy dies of boredom, wrote, “Some might say this president has done a great job, while those running against him are a pack of clueless socialists who couldn’t run an electric train let alone a country. So if we don’t impeach him, how the hell are we going to get back in power?”
The Post editorial did receive an almost immediate response from Polly, the parrot whose cage was lined with the paper.