Warning: A caricature of Bill Clinton that is eerily similar to the real Bill Clinton is quoted below.
Well, the virtual thrills just keep virtually coming at the virtual Democrat National Convention.
Yesterday, the rapt audience of George Stephanopoulos and whoever gets paid to watch stuff for Norah O’Donnell were electrified to see virtual Democrat star Bill Clinton virtually address the virtual crowd.
Clinton spoke on the hundredth anniversary of women gaining the right to vote, which Democrats say insured their ability to win elections by appealing to people without the capacity for reason.
Clinton’s speech, entitled “Girls! Girls! Girls!”, described why he joined the Democrat Party.
Clinton said, “Are you kidding me? Where else are you gonna find some of these big-haired babes who all you have to do is sling a little feminism at them, and they let you do any damn thing you want? Even if you knock them up, you can always hit them with the ‘woman’s right to choose,’ line. They fall for that every time.”
In a more solemn moment, Clinton said, “When you think about it, not a single Democrat president would’ve been elected in the last century without the votes of those fluffy headed little darlings who giggle so appealingly when you’re chasing them around the room exposing your private parts. Or maybe they’re not giggling. Maybe they’re weeping. But who can tell with women?”
Clinton went on to reminisce, saying, “Sometimes I think back on how me and my good friends Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein chased down any girl any age we wanted, and then had our pals at NBC and ABC kill the story, and women never said a word. Then we had my same NBC pals release a tape of Trump making some dumb remark and suddenly there were marches and Me-Too’s all over the place. And I just think, hoo-ey, I sure am glad I’m a Democrat.”
As a point of clarification, Democrats say they do plan to resume caring about the abuse of women as soon as Joe Biden hands the presidency over to Kamala Harris.
More satire from Andrew Klavan: Democrats Begin Convention With Theme: ‘Uniting America In Self-Hatred And Mutual Distrust’