Satire

Biden Fires Back At Iran. Now They Are So Scared. So Scared.

Andrew Klavan
Biden Fires Back At Iran. Now They Are So Scared. So Scared.
MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty Images

Days after three American soldiers were murdered by Iran, the Biden Administration has finally retaliated by firing missiles into Iraq and Syria where they made scary exploding noises so loud the Iranians could almost hear them all the way in Iran and, boy oh boy, wouldn’t they have been frightened then?

State Department Spokesman John Kirby said the U.S. warned the Iranians that something really scary was going to happen in Iraq and Syria so that the Iranians would be so frightened, they’d have to stay in Iran where it was safe. Kirby said, “My hope was the Iranians would scream in terror, and we could laugh at them and say they sounded like women. You can bet they wouldn’t like that very much so it would be quite some time before they thought about murdering any more of our soldiers, believe you me.”

Got a tip worth investigating?

Your information could be the missing piece to an important story. Submit your tip today and make a difference.

Submit Tip