Bernie Leads Democrats With Promise To Destroy America [Satire]

The following is satirical. 

The Democrat Party released its latest results after the Nevada primary, and Bernie Sanders has won in Iowa. As Sanders continues on track to win the party’s nomination for president, a party spokesman released a statement while running around in a circle, tearing his hair and making a high-pitched babbling noise by squealing at the same time he riffled his lips with his fingers. In fact, that was the statement.