The following is satirical.
Infanticidal Virginia Governor Ralph Northam is in trouble because he appeared in a racist picture in his 1984 med school yearbook. The Democrat Governor, who believes babies should be left to die if you don’t want them, apologized for being in the photo, which shows one person in black face and one in a Ku Klux Klan outfit. Northam apologized for the photo, saying, "From now on, I promise to kill babies without dressing up in offensive costumes."
Although it’s unclear whether Northam was the Klansman in the photo or the man in black face, Democrats scrambled to condemn the baby-killer for his racist med school hijinx. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand called for Northam’s resignation, saying, "The Democrat party is the party of killing children, not the party of the Ku Klux Klan. Well, okay, it’s also the party of the Ku Klux Klan, but not recently. Now we just do the whole baby-killing thing without the sheets over our heads. The governor must resign so we can stop being distracted by our racist past, and go forward into the future with the good work of slaughtering America’s children."
Other Democrat spokesmen tried to cover for Northam. CNN for instance reported that Northam was a Republican, hoping this would deflect blame from their party. The ruse failed, however, when viewers managed to identify Northam as a Democrat by his Klan outfit.
Democrat Cory Booker, who recently managed to declare he was running for president without anyone noticing, also made a comment but nobody noticed that either. Something about this being a "moral moment" and how much he likes gladiator movies …
Tom Perez, the Grand Dragon of the Democrat Party, told a gathering of Democrats, also known as a press conference, "I really feel caught in the crossfire … and I literally mean a cross on fire. Hahahaha. Sorry — that’s a Democrat joke from the old days. I guess it’s sort of inappropriate now."