KLAVAN: I Dreamed Kanye Met With Donald Trump [Satire]

Rapper Kanye West, left, shakes hands with U.S. President Donald Trump during a meeting in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Thursday, Oct. 11, 2018.
Bloomberg / Contributor / Getty Images

The following is satirical.

President Kanye West visited Rapper Donald Trump in the White House yesterday — or possibly it was the other way around — but who knows since reality has clearly ceased to exist? In his signature dragon energy style, Kanye took the microphone from the leader of the free world, saying, "Imma let you finish your term, Mr. President, but first I want to say that Beyonce had one of the greatest videos of all time." Trump agreed and immediately redressed the injustice by appointing Beyonce Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Then I woke up.

Even in real life, the meeting of two of America’s greatest something-or-others had a surreal quality to it. Kanye wore a MAGA hat and compared it to a Superman cape, which made perfect sense or no sense at all, since it’s become almost impossible to tell the difference. Kanye also defended the Second Amendment which also made sense, though it made no sense that he was making sense, and the paradox tore a gigantic wormhole in the space-time continuum causing reality to be sucked into itself.

Then I woke up.

Regaining consciousness, I saw the Left and the news media — but I repeat myself — reacting to the Ye-Donald Summit with its usual affable good will and principled integrity — or violent hatred, racism and hysteria as we used to call it before we fell through the wormhole in my previous dream and language lost all meaning.

Former DNC Chairwoman Donna Brazile said — and this is a real quote, assuming there’s still such a thing as a real quote: "Kanye West has set us back 155 years." Of course, she’s right, and now it’s just like it was back in slavery days when billionaire black men used to hug their friend the President, who had just finished improving the lives of all African-Americans by virtually eliminating unemployment. Why not? Nothing is real anymore anyway.

After Kanye’s Oval Office appearance, black people throughout America suddenly realized that Trump was a great president.

Then I woke up.

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