Trump reminds America that boredom is a weapon of mass hilarity, from threatening to reopen Alcatraz to teasing a third term with a hat that made MSNBC spontaneously combust. Meanwhile, TikTok teens are Kool-Aid-Man’ing their way through suburbia, the Met Gala proves once again that liberal elites have zero taste, and Diddy makes courtroom drama look like an SNL sketch written by Hunter Biden.