The New York Times, a former newspaper, has obtained a document from the Democrat party outlining their plan to spend $20 million in an effort to win back male voters. The effort is being hailed as a continuation of the great Democrat tradition of wasting money without even beginning to solve a problem created by their own stupid ideas.
The document, entitled “How to Make Toxic Men Love Us Even As we Castrate their Sons and Turn Their Women into Fractious Whores,” includes a collection of ideas from a diverse committee of women, black women, men pretending to be black women and feminists who are sort of like women only feminist. The effort is being hailed as a continuation of the great Democrat tradition of forming committees on the basis of diversity and thus laying the groundwork for a hilarious catastrophe that was predictable to everyone except a diverse committee.
To add an international flavor to the committee, the Democrats reached out to French President Emmanuel Macron, who said, “I think in order to properly study men, we need to…” But he couldn’t finish, because his wife smacked him in the face.
At the heart of the Democrat’s effort is an attempt to learn how to speak to potential male voters by studying liberal men in their native habitats, like gay bars and the ballet. This attempt comes on the heels of the failed presidential campaign of what’s-her-name, that cackling semi-black girl, who chose Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate because of his ability to code-switch from talking like a homosexual serial killer to talking like a homosexual serial killer trying to sound like a regular guy.
In the wake of that failure, the Democrats hope to learn how to communicate with men online by — and, my hand to God, this is a real quote — “studying the syntax, language and content that gains attention and virality in men’s spaces.’” So, for instance, instead of just bluntly telling men it’s time for them to take a backseat and let women lead the way into a glorious female future of unreasoning chatter followed by helpless sobbing interrupted by snapping at anyone who tries to make them feel better, Democrats might now attempt to gain attention and virality by posting such male-coded messages as, “Hey, Bro, how about giving the chicks a chance for a change, and meanwhile pass me the soap with those attractive, muscular arms of yours.”
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1232-this-is-fine?elementPosition=0&amp;row=0&amp;rowType=Vertical+Show+Episodes+Carousel" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show</a></h3>
To ensure their new man language is not limited to English-speakers, Democrats interviewed French President Emmanuel Macron, who said, “I believe in order to speak with men, you have to…” But he was unable to finish, because his wife smacked him in the face.
The document also suggests the party might want to change its hectoring tone of school-marmish moralizing, just in case that alienates some men or causes them to projectile vomit their last three beers into the face of the first Democrat they see. In order to help them stop moralizing, the Democrats have appointed a diverse committee to run a $50 million study entitled “What is Morality, and How is it Different from Sexually Mutilating Children in order to Pretend Gender is a Social Construct?” 
In a further effort to communicate with men, the Democrats are seeking to create a &#8220;new Joe Rogan&#8221; to head a popular male-oriented podcast. After a $75 million study by a diverse committee, the Democrats discovered that Rogan actually used to be a Democrat himself until he found out the Democrats were a bunch of Communist perverts. The Democrats feel they can fix that problem by replacing Rogan with some other bald man with a lot of tattoos, and hoping no one notices the difference.
To internationalize the appeal of the new Democrat Rogan, the Democrats sought advice from French president Emmanuel Macron, who said, “The whole secret to Joe Rogan is that…” But he was unable to finish because his wife smacked him in the face.
More recently, in a controversial move, the Democrats decided to add a man to their diverse study committee and, after a great deal of debate, they finally appointed Emmanuel Macron’s wife.
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fourth installment, “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1613165536?ref_=dbs_m_mng_rwt_calw_thcv_3&amp;storeType=ebooks" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Woman Underground.</a>” His most recent nonfiction release is “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-Cain-Finding-Literature-Darkness/dp/0310368340/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_w=nMYjR&amp;content-id=amzn1.sym.bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_p=bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_r=133-8344803-2786917&amp;pd_rd_wg=7a8J3&amp;pd_rd_r=5791ea0f-6d96-4732-9d6a-3a4e6b348bb5&amp;ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Kingdom of Cain: Finding God in the Literature of Darkness.</a>” (May 2025, Zondervan/HarperCollins).

Emmanuel Macron et Brigitte Macron

Democrats Ask Brigitte Macron: What Is A Man?

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President Donald Trump weighed in on the viral video showing French first lady Brigitte Macron shoving her husband in the face, President Emmanuel Macron, offering some presidential wisdom to his French counterpart: “Make sure the door remains closed.”
Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy asked Trump at a Friday press conference with Elon Musk if he had any &#8220;world leader to world leader marital advice&#8221; for the Macrons following the incident.
Trump&#8217;s response was characteristically direct and light-hearted. “Make sure the door remains closed,” he said, before adding, “That was … not good.”
“I spoke to [Macron], he’s fine, they’re fine, they’re two really good people, I know them very well,” Trump added. “I don’t know what that was all about, but I know them very well, and they’re fine.”
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“This week there was a video on board a plane that showed the First Lady of France slapping her husband, Emmanuel Macron. Do you have any world leader to world leader marital advice?”
President Trump: “Make sure the door remains closed.”
😂😂😂 <a href="https://t.co/dSuFuvdU0I">pic.twitter.com/dSuFuvdU0I</a>
&mdash; TheBlaze (@theblaze) <a href="https://twitter.com/theblaze/status/1928523638539473087?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 30, 2025</a></blockquote>
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Later in the press conference, Elon Musk referenced the Macron incident after being asked by a reporter about a visible bruise above his eye, with Musk joking, &#8220;Well, I wasn&#8217;t anywhere near France,&#8221; and that the injury was from playful roughhousing with his son, X.
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
Elon Musk, asked in the Oval why he has a bruise near his eye, jokes, &quot;Well I wasn&#39;t anywhere near France.&quot; 
Then says it&#39;s from rough housing with his son, X.
&mdash; Mary Margaret Olohan (@MaryMargOlohan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MaryMargOlohan/status/1928522011673841867?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 30, 2025</a></blockquote>
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The joke, unfortunately, flew right over the reporter&#8217;s head, who attempted to make Musk explain the joke.
As The Daily Wire previously <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/french-kiss-macron-gets-shoved-in-the-face-by-his-wife-on-camera">reported</a>, the embarrassing moment for French President Emmanuel Macron went viral on Monday, with a video showing just before Macron and his wife Brigitte — who is 25 years his senior — exited a plane in Vietnam, she appeared to shove him directly in the face.
Macron appeared to panic upon realizing the incident was visible for the media to see, turning to the cameras with a nonchalant smile and wave as if nothing had happened.
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French Pres. Emmanuel Macron appeared to be pushed in the face by his wife Brigitte Macron as they arrived in Vietnam, the first stop of a Southeast Asia tour. <a href="https://t.co/nqzICGPpeY">https://t.co/nqzICGPpeY</a> <a href="https://t.co/VQnNSpMm1K">pic.twitter.com/VQnNSpMm1K</a>
&mdash; ABC News (@ABC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1926963047337246897?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2025</a></blockquote>
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Macron dismissed the incident, telling reporters, “I was bickering, or rather joking, with my wife. It’s nothing.” An Elysee official echoed, “It was a moment when the president and his wife were relaxing one last time before the start of the trip by having a laugh.”

President Trump Holds Press Conference With Elon Musk in White House’s Oval Office

Trump Gives The Macrons Some Marital Advice After Viral Face Shove

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French President Emmanuel Macron denied Monday that he and his wife, Brigitte, were in a domestic dispute that was <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/french-kiss-macron-gets-shoved-in-the-face-by-his-wife-on-camera?author=Hank+Berrien&amp;category=News&amp;elementPosition=undefined&amp;row=0&amp;rowType=Vertical+List&amp;title=French+Kiss%3A+Macron+Gets+Shoved+In+The+Face+By+His+Wife+%E2%80%94+On+Camera" target="_blank" rel="noopener">caught on camera</a> and blamed &#8220;the Russians&#8221; for the rumors circulating over the video. 
The incident happened just after the Macrons touched down for a visit to Vietnam, which the French leader hoped would showcase France’s reach into the Indo-Pacific. The now-viral video, shot by the Associated Press, overshadowed their visit and appears to show the first lady shoving her fingernails into the president’s face. After collecting himself, Macron turns to wave through the open door of the plane before descending the stairs with his wife. 
President Macron claims he and the First Lady were “joking,” <a href="https://www.france24.com/en/live-news/20250526-just-joking-macron-denies-dispute-with-wife-blames-disinformation" target="_blank" rel="noopener">France 24</a> reported, and that he was “taken by surprise.” Macron then blamed “the Russians” for manipulating networks to prop up these rumors. He referred to the virality of the clip as a “planetary catastrophe,” but said that people are blowing the incident out of proportion. 
The incident comes after Macron <a href="https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/europe/macron-cocaine-starmer-putin-b2749218.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shot down</a> a rumor pushed by a Russian official that he was doing cocaine on a trip to Kyiv with British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and German Chancellor Friedrich Merz.
&#8220;When European unity becomes inconvenient, disinformation goes so far as to make a simple tissue look like drugs,&#8221; the Elysee stated. &#8220;This fake news is being spread by France’s enemies, both abroad and at home. We must remain vigilant against manipulation.&#8221;
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When European unity becomes inconvenient, disinformation goes so far as to make a simple tissue look like drugs.
This fake news is being spread by France’s enemies, both abroad and at home. We must remain vigilant against manipulation. <a href="https://t.co/xyXhGm9Dsr">pic.twitter.com/xyXhGm9Dsr</a>
&mdash; Élysée (@Elysee) <a href="https://twitter.com/Elysee/status/1921676720995782761?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2025</a></blockquote>
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Russia&#8217;s foreign ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova, who pushed the cocaine allegations, said that Macron&#8217;s advisors would attempt to claim that Russia was behind the &#8220;right hook from his wife.&#8221; 
“Maybe it was the ‘hand of the Kremlin?’” Zakharova said sarcastically, <a href="https://www.france24.com/en/live-news/20250526-just-joking-macron-denies-dispute-with-wife-blames-disinformation" target="_blank" rel="noopener">French 24</a> reported. 
The age-gap marriage between Macron, 47, and his wife, 72, has long been under scrutiny, leading to many rumors of the couple’s alleged rocky relationship as well as claims that the first lady is actually a man. Brigitte Macron has taken legal action to counter these rumors and has been <a href="https://www.lemonde.fr/en/france/article/2024/09/12/brigitte-macron-awarded-damages-from-women-who-spread-false-claim-she-is-transgender_6725808_7.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">awarded</a> damages from people spreading the claims that she is transgender.

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French President Blames ‘The Russians’ For Rumors Over Video Of First Lady’s Face-Shove

Global Politics

Russia

In an embarrassing moment for French President Emmanuel Macron, just before he and his wife Brigitte — who is 25 years his senior  — exited a plane in Vietnam, she shoved him directly in the face.
What made the moment hilarious was that Macron was facing his wife rather than the doorway off the plane and did not appear to know the doorway had opened. But when she shoved his face, it turned his head 90 degrees so he was facing out the door. He immediately realized he could be seen and waved and smiled before heading back toward his wife.
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French Pres. Emmanuel Macron appeared to be pushed in the face by his wife Brigitte Macron as they arrived in Vietnam, the first stop of a Southeast Asia tour. <a href="https://t.co/nqzICGPpeY">https://t.co/nqzICGPpeY</a> <a href="https://t.co/VQnNSpMm1K">pic.twitter.com/VQnNSpMm1K</a>
&mdash; ABC News (@ABC) <a href="https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1926963047337246897?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2025</a></blockquote>
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&nbsp;
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On the one hand I feel bad for Macron. That’s humiliating to get attacked by your wife’s claws while the cameras are rolling.
But on the other hand, that terror-supporting brat deserves it…
As they say, couldn’t have happened to a better man, right?<a href="https://t.co/XRIF0OtSz3">pic.twitter.com/XRIF0OtSz3</a>
&mdash; Marina Medvin 🇺🇸 (@MarinaMedvin) <a href="https://twitter.com/MarinaMedvin/status/1926966165298962815?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2025</a></blockquote>
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&nbsp;
Macron <a href="https://www.reuters.com/business/aerospace-defense/elysee-plays-down-apparent-shove-macron-wife-vietnam-2025-05-26/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">dismissed the incident</a>, telling reporters, &#8220;I was bickering, or rather joking, with my wife. It&#8217;s nothing.&#8221; An Elysee official echoed, “It was a moment when the president and his wife were relaxing one last time before the start of the trip by having a laugh.”
Visiting the Vietnamese capital of Hanoi, “Macron emphasized the need for ‘an order based on law’ at a time of ‘both great imbalance and a return to power-driven rhetoric and intimidation,’” ABC News <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory/frances-macron-visit-vietnam-urges-greater-cooperation-defense-122191313?cid=social_twitter_abcn" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reported</a>. France and Vietnam signed deals worth more than $10 billion after President Donald Trump threatened to impose 50% tariffs on European Union goods starting July 9.
<a href="https://get.dailywire.com/subscribe/plus/?utm_medium=website&amp;utm_source=editorial&amp;utm_campaign=memorial&amp;utm_content=editorialmemorialday" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Memorial Day Sale – Get 40% Off New DailyWire+ Annual Memberships</a>
Macron joined the leaders of the United Kingdom and Canada on May 19 to demand that Israel stop the expansion of military operations in Gaza that are designed to eliminate the terrorist group Hamas. The <a href="https://www.elysee.fr/en/emmanuel-macron/2025/05/19/joint-statement-from-the-leaders-of-the-united-kingdom-france-and-canada-on-the-situation-in-gaza-and-the-west-bank" target="_blank" rel="noopener">statement</a> demanded that a cease-fire be implemented and a two-state solution created, saying, “We are committed to recognizing a Palestinian state.”
In April, Macron iterated that he wanted EU businesses to stop investing in America after President Trump imposed tariffs on the European Union. “It is important that future investments, the investments announced over the last few weeks, should be put on hold for some time until we have clarified things with the United States of America,” Macron <a href="https://www.politico.eu/article/macron-eu-companies-should-freeze-investment-in-the-u-s-until-trump-calms-down/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">said</a>. “What message would we send by having major European players investing billions of euros in the American economy at a time when [the U.S.] are hitting us?”
French billionaire Bernard Arnault <a href="https://videos.senat.fr/video.5409997_682ddabf64695.aides-aux-grandes-entreprises--audition-de-bernard-arnault" target="_blank" rel="noopener">fired back</a>, “I think it&#8217;s very bad for the state to meddle in the management of private companies. It usually leads to disaster. I don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s a good idea to take advice like that, wherever it comes from.”

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Democrats Ask Brigitte Macron: What Is A Man?

Trump Gives The Macrons Some Marital Advice After Viral Face Shove

French President Blames ‘The Russians’ For Rumors Over Video Of First Lady’s Face-Shove

French Kiss: Macron Gets Shoved In The Face By His Wife — On Camera