Yes, Your Cat Hates Its Lobster Costume. But It’s A $1 Billion Industry Anyway.

Halloween isn’t just for people anymore. Dear kids dressed like Buddy the Unicorn and “Disco Scooby-Doo,” if it walks like a dog and barks like a dog, it’s probably a dog in a pumpkin costume. Dogs occupy 71 million households in America, and their owners are turning pet costumes into a booming $1 billion industry. Sure, we can no longer afford gas, groceries, or health care, but Pickles’ taco ensemble will be one to remember!

CertaPet surveyed the field to uncover the most spooktacular dog and cat costumes driving the movement: dinosaur, pumpkin, and hot dog. Rounding out the rest of the top 10, we’re staying on theme with sharks, ghosts, Chucky dolls, lions, Ewoks, Scooby-Doos, and Grinches. But if those don’t quite pass your vibe check, we’ve got plenty of butt-wiggling inspiration ahead.

It’s almost no surprise that one in three pet owners invests more cash into his pet’s Halloween getup than his own. Not only are our dogs the most scrumptious nuggets on the planet, but we can get crafty while letting the furriest member of the family rock this year’s trend (possibly dolled up as an actual baked potato).

Of course, pet Halloween costumes aren’t one size fits all. As someone posted to Reddit, “Putting your animals in Halloween costumes is basically abuse.” That may be overstating it for animal lovers, but if you’ve ever seen a cat feign rigor mortis in a lobster costume, you know the struggle. 

Dr. Benjamin Carter, chief medical officer at Chewy Vet Care, tells The Daily Wire how we can ensure our best friends are having just as much fun as we are. “If their costume doesn’t fit properly, an animal can hurt themselves,” he notes. “Anything too big could cause your pet to trip, while anything too small may restrict movement and breathing.” New seasonal fits like the fried chicken bucket and granny costumes offer stretchy adjustable straps to allow for unobstructed play.

I’m the first to sense if my dog Lemmy is experiencing anything other than TLS (tender loving spoiledness). And I’ll just be over here dressing him like a bat for the seventh year in a row because he loves the attention. 

Lemmy waits like a gargoyle for anyone who likes to pet dogs.

Full confession: Lemmy hated the dinosaur costume I tried first, back when he was six months old and we were just getting to know each other. As a “blue” French bulldog, he naturally resembles the Disney character Stitch with his wide smile, stick-up ears, and hippo-pig-bear proportions. But as I quickly found out, he will not stand for hats, wigs, necklaces, glasses, or anything that makes him feel squished. Watching him thrash around my living room trying to escape his bodycon dinosaur costume gave the cinematic effect of him being mauled by himself. Once we landed on “bat” — a featherweight pair of felt wings I could secure to his harness — we never went back. I think he enjoys the freedom of using all five of his senses. And the option to fly. 

Lemmy and his shadow strut down Hollywood Boulevard

But no one knows your pet’s personality and preferences better than you do. And if Benjamin Franklin the dachshund doesn’t want to lower himself to exist among all the other hot dogs at doggie daycare, he doesn’t have to. 

Tap into this year’s cultural trends

If there’s a time to leverage the headlines of the moment, it is now. Two starstruck pups can keep the “Love Story” going as this year’s most high-profile newlyweds Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. And a DIY Rocky costume lets the alien creature from the spring blockbuster “Project Hail Mary” roam the sidewalks here on Earth, just lookin’ for Greenies. But a simple cowgirl-Western look (bonus points for a mini guitar) will have everyone “Choosin’ Texas” with a four-legged Ella Langley.

This year’s dearly departed stars left a treasure trove of unforgettable looks we’d love to bring back to life. Think Peter Cullen’s Eeyore, who naturally inspires the kind of awwww that can only be followed by a treat. All you need in order to rep Sam Neill’s Dr. Alan Grant from “Jurassic Park” is a denim top, a red bandana, and a tiny straw fedora. Tim Curry’s Dr. Frank-N-Furter from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” gives high camp with costume pearls. And the late Catherine O’Hara’s fabulously overdressed Moira Rose from “Schitt’s Creek” serves enough iconic style for multiple looks in one night.

Of course, we could never forget Dolly Parton. If you didn’t already dress your furry friend in “Backwoods Barbie” glam when Dolly earned her wings, this is your sign to grab the nearest blonde wig and pour yourself a “pup” of ambition in her memory. 

All due respect to the Queen of Country, the pop culture-themed pet costume of the year just might come down to the viral humpbacked bandito best known as Jimothy the raccoon. Just leave a full trash can out by the curb instead of candy on the porch.

A spot-on disguise

Stephen King’s “It” isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but — taking advantage of minimal red clown makeup on light fur — a tiny white Chihuahua is the cutest Pennywise you’ll ever not be able to unsee. And every Lab and golden retriever looks majestic in a matching lion’s mane (now serving “Narnia” vibes), not to mention the ancestral majesty of an orange tabby cat wearing the same.

If you can’t agree on a couple’s costume, pair yourself with your pet. It’s a whole lot easier to get someone who can’t speak to agree to a theme than, say, my boyfriend who refuses to be the twins from “The Shining” with me. (Maybe it’s the dresses.) A human beekeeper complements the most boop-worthy “bee,” and Slimer-and-Ghostbuster duos are guaranteed to light up the nearest Psychokinetic Energy Meter. Of course, a black cat doesn’t even need a costume to curl up in Gillian’s arms as “Practical Magic 2” for two.

But Chewy pet lifestyle expert Whitney Reece can read a room. “Let’s be real,” she explains to The Daily Wire. “For some pets, wearing a costume is at the bottom of their list of things they’d like to do.” Instead, she recommends going for “subtle nods to Halloween” such as boo-tiful bandanas, collars, or a glow-in-the-dark leash. It’s the stuff your pet is already used to wearing, but now with vampires on it.

While joining a Halloween parade or scurrying door to door with Fido sounds cute in theory, Carter suggests keeping your critters safe at home to avoid any funny business in the dark. “It’s not a good idea to include pets in trick-or-treating or to bring them to holiday parties,” he says. “Halloween decorations designed to spook can cause unexpected reactions in your animals.” That includes fog machines and jump-scare decor. “Pets are safest at home on Halloween.” 

After semi-consensually agreeing to your chosen look of the season, your little pup-kin spice latte deserves a treat. Just don’t go splitting a fun-sized pack of M&M’s. “Chocolate contains active chemicals that prevent animals from digesting it like humans do, and xylitol found in sugar-free products can be deadly,” Carter advises. “To avoid vomiting, restlessness, or in some cases death, keep candy bins and bags out of reach.”

Whether the reward is a Boo Basket full of plush toys, Milk-Bone Spooky Biscuits, creepy catnip snacks, or just loads of extra belly rubs, it’s all treats and no tricks when everyone’s in on the fun. Mostly. My brain says it’s a dog dressed in a spider costume, but my heart still says run for my life.

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This article is part of Upstream, The Daily Wire’s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories — from our featured writers to you.