The Dangerous Lesson We Keep Teaching Young Boys

The recent story out of Cornell is unique, but also familiar: A female college student had sex with multiple partners and later alleged she was raped. Whether or not a sexual assault, legally defined, occurred remains unclear at this time. What is clear, though, is that a whole lot of people — and most concerningly, many mothers of sons — have utterly inane and patently wrong ideas about how little boys become predatory men and about how to prevent that outcome. 

If you make the mistake of scrolling Instagram, you know what I’m talking about: Reel after insipid reel about how to talk to your seven-year-old son about consent. So that he understands that he must immediately heed his friend’s “stop” in the middle of a wrestling match, even if said friend is laughing and hitting back (because “affirmative consent”). So that he knows that he himself never has to offer a hug to Grandpa if he doesn’t feel like it (because “bodily autonomy”). So that he learns to stop teasing his sister when she is annoyed (because “dismantling patriarchy”).