No such thing as a free lunch, they say.
What is the first city that comes to mind when you think of workplace perks? San Francisco would be a reasonable answer. Well, when it comes to free lunch, those days are numbered.
“One of the craziest stories of the day,” said Rush Limbaugh on his Wednesday show, as he explored the unprecedented move by local lawmakers in the San Francisco Bay Area: the avant-garde of the liberal bastion has proposed a law that would ban future employee cafeterias, like those nestled throughout the city.
Imagine walking into your workplace, having an elaborate gourmet meal prepared conveniently by a professional chef — organic omelet, hand-rolled sushi, or gluten-free falafel — to help maintain your energy, lift your spirit, and boost productivity. Though it may seem like a luxury to non-techies, it is more of an expectation for Silicone Valley employees.
As the San Francisco Chronicle reported, “Google hired its first chef about 20 years ago when the company had just 50 employees. Reviews of its corporate cuisine popped up on Bon Appetit, Serious Eats, and Yelp. New Companies such as Facebook and LinkedIn matched the perk as they tried to lure employees away.”
According to the San Francisco Center for Economic Development, there are 66,800 Information and Technology workers currently employed in the city.
“The fear is that towns are losing money and endangered of going out of business because so many tech employees are not stopping at local restaurants,” said Limbaugh.
As reported by The Sacramento Bee, “the proposed law has the backing of the Golden Gate Restaurant Association with the executive director stating: We can’t compete with free.”
“Really? Somebody in the Bay Area sees the light! They can’t compete with free,” said Limbaugh with a hearty laugh.
“This has been a major problem with the Republican Party for years — it can’t compete with free either,” Rush continued. “When that’s the Democrat Party, they’re Santa Claus. They promise to give everything away to anybody who wants it — including now income! The Democrat Party is advocating guaranteed universal income. We don’t have the money for any of this, but they are talking about it! And guess who is listening to this and signing up for it? Yup, that’s right, your millennial kids think that guaranteed universal income is one of the greatest ideas they’ve ever heard!”
If liberal lawmakers succeed with the proposal, they will be negatively impacting their constituency. Employees — potential voters — will then be forced to venture through a city that is riddled with feces, syringes, and crime only to pay for something that was once a free perk.
“This may be the first time liberal politicians have gone on record against the concept of a free lunch,” Limbaugh concluded.
A good solution for all those San Francisco voters could be investing in a sturdy lunch box and bringing some leftover food to work; however, a recent survey shows that, even though millennials love cooking shows, they cook less than any other generation. Well, considering that’s out of the question, here’s a map to navigate your way!
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Alexander Ruiz is a graduate of The United States Merchant Marine Academy, a veteran U.S Coast Guard law enforcement officer, and a licensed Merchant Mariner. He is a Californian native and currently a graduate student in political science at New York University.