We are now not supposed to judge people as fully-fledged human beings, which is the natural outcome of a hedonistic society in which the only thing that matters is sex.
The way we used to date is that you didn’t take your clothes off until you were married. When that was the case, you had to fully appreciate the person sitting across the table from you as a fully-fledged human being with thoughts, values, and ideas. You only got to sex after marriage. Now, you get to the sex first and everything else is lost by the wayside. Some people are making the argument that marriage is bad because women are initiating most divorces due to no-fault divorce, which means it’s risky for men to get married.
My answer to that is: Not if you marry the right woman. The way you know you’re marrying the right woman is if you date in the right way. This is why it’s very important when you are dating to avoid what has become current: jumping in bed with each other and then seeing how it goes from there. Instead, it should be precisely as it was in terms of actually appreciating the other human being as a potential life partner. Here’s one reason why: Everything is going to droop and bag as you get older anyway, so you should marry somebody who shares your values.
Modern masculinity does have a problem. More men than ever are committing suicide, more men than ever are addicted to opioids, and more men than ever are not going to college. And there’s a lot of depression. The real reason for that is, men have been deprived of their traditional roles or have deprived themselves of their traditional roles. The original roles of a male were to provide for and protect a family, which meant get married, have kids, protect, defend, provide. That’s what men did. And it gave them purpose and meaning.
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Then we built an entire society around the idea that this was actively bad, that there was a serious problem with doing this. And thus society has fallen apart. Feminism argued in order for men to fulfill their traditional roles, women had to be tertiary or secondary or be treated as slaves, etc. But that was an idiotic assumption. Marriage was always good for women.
The New York Times has an entire article titled: Modern Masculinity Is Broken. She Knows How to Fix It. It is an interview with an author who is married with a couple of kids. She is a self-described feminist. The New York Times describes her as “one of her generation’s funniest and most fearless feminist voices.” I always love when people use the word “fearless,” because it usually just means they’re repeating nostrums the Left really, really likes. That’s what makes you “fearless.”
She implies men should just ditch masculinity, writing:
I can walk around leafy liberal North London and see boys in dresses with nail polish who are using mixed pronouns and go, “Look at the progress here.” On the other hand, as soon as I go back to my hometown, I am not seeing boys walking around in sarongs and using mixed pronouns. In those places you would be going straight in at the deep end by starting a conversation about masculinity by going, “Maybe gender shouldn’t exist.”
She’s wrong. The real solution for men is to live virtuously. The real solution for women is also to live virtuously.
Why are men so depressed? Because you’ve said that the only way they can be a real man is to not be a man at all.