The following is satirical.
Alt-right neo-Nazi, white supremacist and anti-Semite Richard Spencer has endorsed Joe Biden for president. And no, I did not make that up. That actually happened. Unless the world and my imagination have now changed places which, at this point, is a distinct possibility.
In a speech he delivered in make-believe German while goose-stepping back and forth in front of the mirror in his underwear, Spencer said, “Speaking as a hateful racist slimeball, I have to admit Donald Trump has been a big disappointment to me.”
“I was repeatedly assured he was the worst bigot ever sent to the Oval Office, and instead he created more jobs for black people than any president before him,” the racist continued. “I was excited when I heard he said there were good people in the white supremacy movement, but it turned out that was just another lie.”
“Meanwhile, Joe Biden and the Democrats have inspired an entire movement that burns down black neighborhoods, denigrates black people in authority and is even attempting to defund the police which is sure to get way more black people killed,” the anti-Semite added. “And I’m thinking, ‘Whoa doggy, that’s a party I want to belong to!’ I mean, the Democrats are the party of Linda Sarsour, Ilhan Omar, and Rashida Tlaib! Man, I have swastikas tattooed on my private parts, and I don’t even consider myself worthy to be in that company. When it comes to hating Jews, I’m just a lowly neo-Nazi. I can only dream of one day becoming a Democrat.”
After his speech, while enjoying a glass of milk with the centers of some Super-Stuff Oreos, Spencer reflected on his disappointment with the Trump administration, saying, “When they told me Trump would be worse than Hitler, I really got my hopes up. I should have known. They say that about every Republican and in the end, they just break your heart.”
Spencer said he did not think Joe Biden would unleash a holocaust, but he added, “You’ve gotta start somewhere.”
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