On Monday, kicking off the White House’s American Dreams Week, new White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci became deposed White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci. Yes, sadly, the Fonz of the West Wing, the Trumpian Mini-Me, the Wolf of Wall Street Extra, is out.
I couldn’t be more upset.
Never fire your breakout character.
Here is the statement from the White House:
Anthony Scaramucci will be leaving his role as White House Communications Director. Mr. Scaramucci felt it was best to give Chief of Staff John Kelly a clean slate and the ability to build his own team. We wish him all the best.
The saga of Scaramucci, who could not do the fandango, is the finest episode of “Trump” yet. After spending months sucking up to President Trump on national television in order to enter his good graces, Scaramucci then finally gained access to the halls of power. His entry meant the ouster of White House press secretary Sean Spicer, who didn’t want to play second-fiddle to a man who does a killer impression of Harry Ellis from Die Hard.
Spicer is now sitting on a beach in Zihuatanejo.
This was followed by Scaramucci giving a glorious press conference in which he praised his new boss in terms that would make Kim Jung Un blush: “[he’s] the most competitive person I’ve ever met, I’ve seen him throw a dead spiral through a tire, I’ve seen him at Madison Square Garden, he’s standing in the key, he’s hitting foul shots and swishing them, he’s sinking three-foot putts, I don’t ever see a guy under siege … we’re gonna do a lot of winning.”
The winning began with Scaramucci immediately accusing White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus of leaking material against the White House, and implying that Priebus was working against Trump. He then attacked Priebus and White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon in an on-the-record interview that could only be described as the sort of interview a coke-addled pug dog would give it if it had the power of speech: Scaramucci called Priebus a “paranoid schizophrenic” and suggested that Bannon wanted to “suck his own c***.”
None of this drew fire from Trump.
But it drew Priebus’ resignation on Friday, along with the appointment of General John Kelly to Chief of Staff at the White House. On the same day, The New York Post related that Scaramucci’s wife, Deidre Bell, had filed for divorce “after three years of marriage after getting fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump, whom she despises.” They have two children, but Bell didn’t want Scaramucci present for the birth of that second child.
Now it’s Monday, and Scaramucci is gone. He won’t be spending more time with his family, presumably.
Ouch.
He was allegedly unaware of his impending firing, and was “escorted from White House grounds today after ouster, per source familiar with the scene.” According to Tara Palmeri of Politico, Trump wasn’t upset with Scaramucci – Kelly made the call to dump him, but Trump came around after media coverage of Scaramucci turned markedly negative.
The Legend of The Mooch will live on in our memories forever. The entertainment value of the White House just dropped dramatically, even if we can all hope that Scaramucci’s ouster will begin to stabilize the chaos emanating weekly from the Trump administration.
Now, let us all sing together as Scaramucci sails off into the distance to console himself at his extraordinarily blue collar event at Davos:
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low
Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me, to me…
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