The following is satirical.
Journalists and other Democrats are demanding that TV stations stop airing President Trump’s briefings on the Chinese Virus.
On Knucklehead Row, the op-ed page of the New York Times, a former newspaper, aptly named columnist Charles Blow wrote, “Trump’s flagrant disinformation cannot be released to America without being filtered through our unreasoning hatred and corruption. Trump claimed that it was dangerous to allow China to dominate the supply chain but now we at the Times have uncovered the truth that allowing China to dominate the supply chain is actually dangerous.
“Trump said it was unsafe for us to have open borders and now it turns out open borders are not safe in the least,” Blow continued. “Trump said that globalization would allow rogue nations to take advantage of us and now instead we find ourselves being taken advantage of by rogue nations because of globalization.”
“We can no longer stand by and let this man lie until we correct him by rephrasing what he said to make it sound like we said it first,” he concluded. “Otherwise, people will begin to think our so-called expertise and educational credentials are meaningless garbage and then we are so, so screwed.”
Nancy Pelosi also said the briefings should be canceled, remarking, “Every time he talks about people being ruined or out of work, it puts a bad taste in my mouth, ruining the experience of my Brickley’s Chocolate Ice Cream which cost me a fortune to have shipped in fresh from Narragansett.”
In a sharply worded editorial issued from the delightfully pink bathroom of her 7-million dollar home in Scarsdale, NBC Anchorwoman Shapely Nudnick, said, “No one can possibly understand these briefings without our explaining them because they’re all full of, like, facts and numbers and stuff, which need to be clarified by our gross misrepresentations.”
Journalists are suggesting the briefings be replaced by commentators screaming insults into the camera and comparing Republicans to Hitler. That will at least make America feel like things are getting back to normal.
More satire from Andrew Klavan: Like Great American Men Of The Past, Brian Stelter Cries Himself To Sleep Then Shares