In a stunningly brave act of stunningly brave stunning bravery, the entire journalistic staff of the Atlantic has declared that Donald Trump, if re-elected, will become a dictator. No other journalistic outlet has made such a stunningly brave claim except the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Reuters, the Associated Press, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, National Review, Fox News — though only in private emails — and the New Yorker. And Cosmopolitan. And also Esquire. And that guy who says he used to be a journalist but now just hangs out in Herald Square using his dental fillings to contact Venus where journalists have also declared that Trump will be a dictator, which is an act of stunning bravery for Venutians who are normally a more timid, reticent race of people due to the fact they don’t exist — sort of like the intelligence of American journalists.
What makes the Atlantic’s stunningly brave claim that Trump will be a dictator both more stunning and also more brave than the other stunningly brave claims that Trump will be a dictator made by all the other stunningly brave news outlets, is that just before the stunningly brave claim was made by the Atlantic, Atlantic executive editor Adrienne Hysterical actually received a visitation from the Ghost of National Review, warning her in a hollow ghostly moan, “Do not dedicate your entire staff to a Never Trump issue or you will become completely irrelevant like me.” Miss Hysterical ignored the warning, however, because it came from National Review and no one listens to them anymore.
.png)
.png)
