In a tense confrontation reminiscent of the Cuban Missile Crisis, except without Cuba or the missiles or, really, the crisis, the United States has narrowly avoided a harrowing war with Denmark.
The crisis or whatever began when Donald Trump demanded Denmark hand Greenland over to the United States and issued a saber-rattling threat in which the sabers were made entirely of Legos just to add insult to injury. Trump said: “Since you lousy Danes have repeatedly refused to give me the Nobel Peace Prize, I see no reason why I should continue to be peaceful if I don’t get a prize for it. And the Nobel Prize I received from that kooky Venezuelan dame with a name like a Spanish dance number doesn’t count, because people just laugh when they see it, so I’m sending it back and taking Greenland instead.”
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