Actress Eva Mendes (“The Place Beyond the Pines”) sparked debate on social media this week on whether or not it’s appropriate to spank children.
In an Instagram post on Monday, Mendes shared her “favorite parenting quote” that compared the spanking of children to spousal abuse.
“I’m often asked what my favorite red carpet dress is. This @versace is definitely up there. I’m not often asked what my favorite parenting quote is, but I’ll post it anyway,” Mendes wrote. “Spanking does for a child’s development what hitting a spouse does for a marriage.”
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Mendes’ comments sparked a fierce debate among her followers.
“Yes! I agree. Every time I was ‘disciplined’ growing up, I only felt fear and shame. IT never ‘corrected’ behavior. I would never hit my child to teach them a lesson and inflict psychological and physical pain, but that’s just me,” one follower said.
“If an adult hits an adult that’s called assault and they can press charges and end up in jail yet when a defenseless child is hit it’s called discipline,” said another follower.
“Love this quote! I have three kids so I understand the urge to spank! (Also most of us were raised in cultures or families where physical discipline is routine and accepted so I get it) Spanking, though, is loss of control on the part of the parent,” another said. “As parents were are trying to teach our kids how to communicate in a healthy way even when we are really, really upset. We are also helping them build those internal controls so that they do not lash out on others when things do not go their way or they are frustrated, angry or upset. We have to model what we want to see in our kids. (And we won’t be perfect so that includes apologizing when we mess up!)”
Some followers, however, disagreed and defended spanking as a disciplinary tactic.
“I hear ya Eva but I disagree. You can use a spanking to correct a child. Pain grabs their attention. BUT there is a big difference between spanking and abuse. Spanking out of anger or without talking to the child and correcting their behavior is abuse. ALSO not every child needs to be spanked,” said one follower.
“Children that get spanked on occasion seem a lot better behaved….but the key is to not over do it,” another follower said.
“I don’t know. I was spanked and now I’m a respectful adult. And believe me, I deserved those whoopings. I was a brat,” said another.
“Thank you for your comment. So happy to agree to disagree. Want this page to offer that in a loving way. We all parent our own way and I have no idea what I’m doing most the time,” Mendes responded. “This didn’t come with a manual so when there’s something that resonates with me, I pass it on. Lotsa love.”